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When problems arise, the alcohol and/or addict may be used to quickly turning to alcohol and/or drugs but now they have to face the situation with a sober mind and see just how they can implement important principles into their newfound sober lifestyle.  A sober lifestyle goes beyond more than abstinence from alcohol and drugs.  Sobriety constitutes the ability to make less destructive, healthier choices in life and when poor decisions or mistakes are made, they hopefully find the inner strength to be accountable and make amends to anyone who may have been harmed when caught in the cross fire.  In fearful times where there is great distress, it can seem as though there is no resolution.  This is what the disease of addiction would like for you to believe.  It wants you to think that there is no hope even after you have found or entirely reconstructed it.  This is why it is imperative that when calamity tempers its way back into your life, you immerse yourself with others in recovery and redirect your efforts into being of service to others.

Personal Growth: Pause During Problems

In chess, if a player is unsure of a move to make, he is wise at best to not make a move at all.  As it pertains to recovery, if an alcoholic and/or addict is unsure about what to do in a particular circumstance in their life, they should abstain from doing anything at all.  By not doing anything at all, the opportunity is given for clarity.  When clarity occurs, the alcoholic and/or addict is able to look past the fallacies in their life that keep them stagnant or decant from spiritual growth which is necessary for the malady of the disease of which they suffer.  To a typical person, doing nothing can seem simple.  But what sounds like such a simple matter can be a difficult task for the alcoholic and/or addict because of how complex people they usually are.   An alcoholic and/or addict may however be keen on sticking to their instincts, which in theory may sound good, but this can easily get them into trouble.  When these gut feelings are followed, this sense of bewilderment is followed and false hope is satisfied.  The individual sets themselves up and solely runs on this self-will bound journey.  When their thinking is rooted on what they think is best, a rapid drop can follow shortly thereafter.  The alcoholic and/or addict must be willing to set aside what they know and pause the situations currently occurring to take a look at what they are truly facing.  The answers will come when they are open to prospering their spiritual boundaries to which there is no ceiling high enough to restrain them with limitations.  This means that the individual will be granted an unthinkable inner change.  With more progress done spiritually through this, fallacies will hold no such boundaries.  There will be no more people taken out in the cross fire.

Enhancing Personal Growth

Growth should always be seen as a positive aspect!  In times of struggle, however, growth is typically one of the best gears to shift toward in motivation to get out any uncomfortable and unwanted feelings.  So, what are some ways that you can enhance your personal growth?  Taking the time to read works of literature on topics that promote wellness, spirituality, beliefs, lessons, morality, ethics, recovery, or teach you something of value can be particularly stimulating and cause your mind to expand.  Anything that broadens your mind like this can help enhance your spirituality and allow you to grow as a human being.  Meditating also has a great reputation for doing this as well because it gives you a great conscious contact with your inner self and the surrounding present world you reside in.  Group studies, discussions with friends, nature walks, listening to music, and even picking up a new hobby are among a few other suggestions that can assist you in practicing healthy ways of mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually developing on your journey toward personal growth.

The concept of a self will run riot may be an idea that comes naturally to an alcoholic and/or addict.  However, recovering individuals may not realize they have been on one until after the fact.  It’s easier to reflect back on the story after the damage has already been done and the person can look back to wonder what they were thinking instead.

Definition of Self Will Run Riot

What exactly defines a self will run riot?  Like it is stated on Page 62 in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, the definition of a self will run riot can best be described as self-reliance being placed before being humble.  When an addicted individual has crossed over and is actively engaging in behaviors that constitute as living in such a mode that promotes this method of self will, they may not initially realize how detrimental their behavioral patterns are until later conducting more introspective viewing.  When they can take a better look at their own actions through inventory and see how they have been acting, then they can better understand how to combat their addictive nature and tackle it with the utmost of sincerity.  In active addiction to alcohol and/or drugs, matters can easily get muddled as individuals may often wonder what exactly constitutes as self will.  Addicted individuals tend to want what they want when they want it, not realizing how selfish and self-seeking these tendencies are or that their actions impact the lives of others around them as a result, which often stems from their substance use.

Examples

Geographical fix

Fleeing on a trip can constitute as a self will run riot because wherever the individual goes, not only are they stuck with themselves but this also means that they can’t run from the problems going on in their life.  Each individual should learn effective ways of dealing with the problems that arise in their lives instead of physically leaving every time something goes wrong in their life.  When a situation doesn’t look how the individual would prefer it to look, it usually means the person is criticizing the way of the world and claiming it doesn’t look right, according to their conviction.  This is an issue regarding control because the individual believes that the way they view their life is the right and only way of viewing it.

False ideals of romance, relationships, and/or intimacy

Self will run riots can involve misconceptions regarding romantic, relational, and/or intimate endeavors.  These can typically involve occurrences where individuals manipulate situations with counterparts they come across to go their way.  Actions like these can manifest when individuals get the driving urge that they must have these people and/or their feelings reciprocated.  Obsession is born from this and a self will run riot is ensued.  There is a great deal of control played in this scenario, which is why the notion of self will becomes evident while scheming and underhanded manipulation comes out.  Even when alcoholics and addicts aren’t active in their use and haven’t picked up a substance, they can put their emotional sobriety at risk by heading off to the races on this self will run riot.

With just a couple examples of how a self will run riot can take over an addicted individual’s mindset, it can be seen how cunning, baffling, and powerful the disease of addiction is.  Self reliance will fail the alcoholic and addict, but humility will pull the individual through the recovery process when they strive to understand the principle and stray away from trying to control every aspect of their life.

Are you stuck in active addiction alcohol and/or drugs?  Contact The Watershed for help today because recovery is possible.  

What is the shortcomings definition anyway? Where here words like “character defects” and “shortcomings” all the time in the rooms, but what does it mean? Many alcoholics and addicts ponder this question, as they try to determine whether there is a difference between its meaning and character defects. Both terms are habitually brought up in programs where individuals strive toward recovery as these alcoholics and/or addicts discuss areas in their lives in which they feel they have a great opportunity to work on because they have come to find out that alcohol and/or drugs was but a symptom of their disease.

Shortcomings Definition: What Does It Mean?

The character defects and shortcomings definition, which are synonymous, explain that the real root of the individual’s disease was their habit of holding onto unhealthy resentments, fear, dishonesty, and selfishness. This is what ultimately caused them to live in a tide of unpleasant emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual distress, leading them to pick up that drink and/or drug that ignited the disease of their addiction that they were unable to stop on their own.

Shortcomings and character defects may be the same concept, but what exactly is the shortcomings definition? When looked up exactly, it is described as “a fault or failure to meet a certain standard, typically in a person’s character.” Taking a look at this description of the word, it can be seen how the meaning is centered on where the person is flawed and has a specific character trait that could use some work because they are lacking in that area. It doesn’t mean they are a bad person by any means, just that they aren’t meeting that standard. This is why the word shortcoming is well-suited and why emphasis is geared more toward character building rather than placed on the recovering individual’s defects of character when they are in their early part of sobriety because nobody wants their negative traits thrown in their face like an object coming at them by blunt-force trauma without some guidance of long-lasting encouraging solution.

The Solution

Through the process of recovery, the alcoholic and/or addicts has hopefully built a strong support network and just the same, if they have chosen to adhere by any suggestions they have heard from them then sticking to the appropriate order of the process in which others have encouraged would be best. When the individual has reached the point where they have become aware of these flaws in their character and are entirely ready to work toward having them removed, then the solution can be found in the reversal process. This is where the alcoholic and/or addict would recognize the defect of character and work daily to transform it into a principle. A prime example would be changing selfish behaviors into selfless acts. By partaking in more service work, being there to support another, helping a stranger carry their groceries, or picking up a piece of trash when nobody is looking, the alcoholic and/or addict begins to work toward improving their selfish tendencies and even gets outside themselves long enough to heighten their inner being. Their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health will continue to develop as they continuously work on reversing their defects on a regular basis.

Stagnant in Recovery: Problem with Shortcomings

After some time in sobriety, the alcoholic and/or addict may get complacent but only to begin feeling emotionally off shortly after. The problem here is that shortcomings don’t just permanently get reversed and stay transformed as principles. Principles remain actively noticeable in recovery only when they are practiced regularly as daily reprieves. Recovery requires an incredible amount of renewed effort and routine work in order to maintain sobriety. By the alcoholic and/or addict continuing to see where they are flawed and work to correct the area of opportunity, they will reap the benefits of peace of mind with their recovery.

What is the shortcomings definition anyway? Where here words like “character defects” and “shortcomings” all the time in the rooms, but what does it mean? Many alcoholics and addicts ponder this question, as they try to determine whether there is a difference between its meaning and character defects. Both terms are habitually brought up in programs where individuals strive toward recovery as these alcoholics and/or addicts discuss areas in their lives in which they feel they have a great opportunity to work on because they have come to find out that alcohol and/or drugs was but a symptom of their disease.

Shortcomings Definition: What Does It Mean?

The character defects and shortcomings definition, which are synonymous, explain that the real root of the individual’s disease was their habit of holding onto unhealthy resentments, fear, dishonesty, and selfishness. This is what ultimately caused them to live in a tide of unpleasant emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual distress, leading them to pick up that drink and/or drug that ignited the disease of their addiction that they were unable to stop on their own.

Shortcomings and character defects may be the same concept, but what exactly is the shortcomings definition? When looked up exactly, it is described as “a fault or failure to meet a certain standard, typically in a person’s character.” Taking a look at this description of the word, it can be seen how the meaning is centered on where the person is flawed and has a specific character trait that could use some work because they are lacking in that area. It doesn’t mean they are a bad person by any means, just that they aren’t meeting that standard. This is why the word shortcoming is well-suited and why emphasis is geared more toward character building rather than placed on the recovering individual’s defects of character when they are in their early part of sobriety because nobody wants their negative traits thrown in their face like an object coming at them by blunt-force trauma without some guidance of long-lasting encouraging solution.

The Solution

Through the process of recovery, the alcoholic and/or addicts has hopefully built a strong support network and just the same, if they have chosen to adhere by any suggestions they have heard from them then sticking to the appropriate order of the process in which others have encouraged would be best. When the individual has reached the point where they have become aware of these flaws in their character and are entirely ready to work toward having them removed, then the solution can be found in the reversal process. This is where the alcoholic and/or addict would recognize the defect of character and work daily to transform it into a principle. A prime example would be changing selfish behaviors into selfless acts. By partaking in more service work, being there to support another, helping a stranger carry their groceries, or picking up a piece of trash when nobody is looking, the alcoholic and/or addict begins to work toward improving their selfish tendencies and even gets outside themselves long enough to heighten their inner being. Their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health will continue to develop as they continuously work on reversing their defects on a regular basis.

Stagnant in Recovery: Problem with Shortcomings

After some time in sobriety, the alcoholic and/or addict may get complacent but only to begin feeling emotionally off shortly after. The problem here is that shortcomings don’t just permanently get reversed and stay transformed as principles. Principles remain actively noticeable in recovery only when they are practiced regularly as daily reprieves. Recovery requires an incredible amount of renewed effort and routine work in order to maintain sobriety. By the alcoholic and/or addict continuing to see where they are flawed and work to correct the area of opportunity, they will reap the benefits of peace of mind with their recovery.

As we move closer to the Holidays I would say it’s generally for me a time of sharing good things (especially food).  I will be the first to admit that I used to “roll my eyes” at the idea of writing a gratitude list.  This was mostly out of fear that when I wrote out the list that my life still wouldn’t look all that great.  However today I know that I can look forward to what is yet to happen as well.  I’ve been through a lot of ups and downs in recovery and today I can say that I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned and all the times where I have been able to change my thought and look at the good.  That good begins with what I am experiencing “right now.”  Which means that I get to be present and allow my awareness to be on something else other than the problem.

While I was a resident at the Watershed on Thanksgiving of 2010 I remember that I felt alone as this was the first time I was physically away from any family for a major holiday.  I’ve had social anxiety for a number of years and even though I had spent the last 30 days with a bunch of other drug addicts and alcoholics I still didn’t think I knew how to act on a holiday so my plan was to isolate.  However this plan got blown up when an employee (who shall remain nameless) locked me out of my apartment and told me that I needed to socialize with the other residents. What came to mind that day was something my dad taught me and that was to just go up and ask people “How are you doing?”  Don’t we all just LOVE to talk about ourselves!!  So my gratitude begins with me taking action to do what I can to help someone else even if its just the simple act of listening.  I’ve been given a new affirmation to repeat: “I am available to more good that I can possibly imagine!” 

by Jason J.

December 19th, 2012 is a very special date for me—I checked myself into The Watershed. I was nervous, scared, excited, happy, sad, and about a thousand more emotions and feelings kicked in right before checking in. I knew that this time it felt different—I can’t pin-point what it is but I just knew that I’m done using. People ask me how you know if you’re done; I tell them you just know. In the first few days of treatment I chased the solution to my problem like I chased my drugs. On the 4^th day of detox, I put on my favorite pair of skinny jeans and found drugs in the corner pocket. My heart started racing as I found myself pacing up and down my room as if I was a lunatic. I was going back and forth on whether I should use or not. After about 30 minutes of trying to make a decision, a tech came in and told me I have to get to group. About a minute into group I stood up and told the facilitator that I found drugs in my jeans corner pocket. He took it away and I felt a great sense of relief. Most patients and all staff members were very proud of me; most importantly, I was proud of myself. At that moment I truly knew I was done and felt the true meaning of surrender…That very same day I decided to go to the inpatient H&I meeting and the speaker said a few words that forever changed my life forever—real men do uncomfortable things. A light bulb went off immediately—I did what was comfortable for me my whole life which got me nowhere. I felt as if the speaker challenged me to do uncomfortable things. The very next day I felt very uncomfortable—I started practicing honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. I started sharing in all groups, praying, taking suggestions, helping others, and most importantly trying to incorporate the 12 steps into all my affairs to the best of my ability.

The two greatest gifts the watershed has given me was finding a purpose in life and introducing me to the 12 step program. I realized that I’m very good at helping others and even influential to some. I am now doing my Master’s in social work, working as an alumni liaison for the watershed sober living community, and interning for The Watershed Outpatient Program director. I have the best and most meaningful job ever—helping other addicts. I have people today who believe in my talents and my potential for greatness such my family; boss who I like to refer to as my work sponsor “Rebecca”; real friends; colleagues such as the editor of this newsletter “Mike”; and the recovery community. I am right where I’m supposed to be. However, the biggest gift out of those two was the introduction to the 12 step program. The 12 steps have changed my life completely—it helped me find a god of my understanding and the true essence of being a better man and accepting myself for the wonderful person that I am. It’s the most rewarding feeling a man can possibly feel. I live by a code now—I am programmed to do the next right thing. There are days where I regress on living out the steps but one step I get right everyday is the first one—I know that I am powerless. My sponsor always says that if I don’t pick today it’s a successful day; I see what he means now. My life today is beyond my wildest dreams. This program gave me a new way of life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world—I LOVE RECOVERY!

By Leon K.

Learning to let go of control is not any easy matter. It’s not as though anyone wants to turn it over because control gives a person a sense of power and safety. Who would ever want to abandon such comfort? The honest truth is that holding onto this coping mechanism of controlling behaviors is only going to keep you sick and learning to let go of this will enacts a new freedom that makes so much more possible than you would have ever thought.

Learning to Let Go of Control for Freedom and Peace

When you can begin to pause and be in the moment, you will notice how freeing it feels to have taken a step away from any controlling tendencies. Learning to let go of control will allow you to be relaxed and able to participate in your own life. You probably spent far too much time concerned with controlling areas of your life which ultimately you had no control over anyway. When you let go of trying to control other people, their actions, and even your surroundings, you will find yourself practicing acceptance. With this, you may experience a sense of peace because you are acknowledging that you cannot conform specifics to your accommodations and it is what it is – nothing more, nothing less. Practicing acceptance will help with the process of learning to let go of control.

When things change, you may find that you do not instantaneously become happy.

People don’t find it hard to relate to having the far too prevalent thoughts that expressing how a multitude of changes can by some miracle constructs a newfound happiness in their life. Logically, this makes no sense because ultimately materialistic “things” can only make a person “happy” for so long before it wears off and no longer keeps them happy with everlasting joy. That is truly what each person strives for – joy. However, these thoughts can be so convincing that they deceive the believer who begins to internalize them to such great extent. These thoughts can cycle in their mind as they instruct them that if they change certain attributes then they will all of a sudden be happier. For example, people commonly believe that if they get a new job or move to a new location, they will be happier when the reality is that these changes do not really impact the person’s happiness at all. The old saying, “wherever you go, there you will always be” works perfectly for this. No matter what changes you do externally and physically, if nothing is resolved internally and implemented, then you won’t be living with any kind of true happiness or more importantly, peace.

When you are able to stop latching on to different ways of controlling behaviors, you will find that life becomes less strenuous and provoking. Ridding the tendency to control areas of life pertaining to relationships, food, money, work, or your own home just to name a few may seem difficult, but that is why it is important to remember that it is not an event but rather a process. Learning to let go of control requires practice and by pausing at every situation instead of immediately jumping toward ritualistic, old behaviors, you can view it accordingly and see if are overly dominating.

Looking for more? Click here: Letting Go To Completely Transform Yourself