Author: livesadmin

 

It can become increasingly challenging for both family members and the suffering individual when addicts return home after drug rehab treatment.  Adjusting to the transition may take time because addicts return back to a familiar lifestyle of people, places, and things.  Now that these individuals are aware of having to implement changes into their life at home, they are going to have to establish a solid foundation for their program of recovery.

More: Recovery Related Reading Material For Loved Ones 

After Rehab

A transition from a drug rehab treatment facility can be a nerve-wracking experience for both the addict and you as the loved one of the addict.  This is why getting properly educated about addiction, straying away from enabling your loved one, and seeing where you may be at fault in situations can prove to ease your loved one and support them during the uncomfortable transition back home.

Understanding

One of the most important suggestions to keep in mind is to remember that your loved one is suffering from an actual illness, not a moral failing.  This means it needs to be treated this way, so you should be encouraging and supportive of them adhering to a regular maintenance of a recovery program.  In order for them to maintain their sobriety, they should be regularly attending 12-step meetings and keeping up with their aftercare drug rehab treatment plan.  This may involve outpatient sessions, therapy, or medication as prescribed by a professional.

Enabling vs. Supporting

It can be easy to slip right back into the behavior of enabling your loved one.  It’s human nature to want to help the people that you love, but early in the process of your loved one’s recovery, you need to be careful how much you are doing for your loved one.  If you are taking care of all of your loved one’s finances and they are doing they part, you may find they take advantage and that this feeds their addiction all over again.  You don’t want to keep your loved one sick by handling matters for them, so stand guard and be cautious not to do too much for them because enabling your loved one will only keep them sick in the end.

Check Yourself

Addiction is a family disease and stems to affect more than just the sufferer alone.  Whether you are combatting a career dilemma, marital problems, or have prior trauma in your own life, you do have issues of your own.  Be careful not to take out your own problems on your loved one or cast blame on their addiction because you are frustrated with how a circumstance is in your own life.

Your loved one is going to need your support now more than ever before because leaving a drug rehab treatment and coming home is a huge change for them.  Big changes early in recovery can be challenging for addicts because they may feel out of control and dislike the uncomfortable associated feelings.  This is why the best way you can show your support is by providing a structured environment, being there for your loved one by offering to listen to them if they are struggling, asking them how their day went, and finding ways to make them feel more comfortable in the home again.  Try to keep in mind that this is the first time they will be sober in the home, so this can be extremely difficult for them to be beginning a new life back where they were active in their disease.  Being supportive of your loved one where they are at can be essential during this phase of their early recovery.

 

 

It can be frustrating when you are dealing with an addict who just will not listen, especially if you know the horrific path they are heading down. Here are some simple suggestions when dealing with a stubborn addict.

The Addict Who Doesn’t Listen

The only requirement for membership in any Twelve Step-based program is a desire to stop drinking and abusing substances, which goes to show that willingness is essential.  If an individual isn’t willing to recover from their ailment, then it can become difficult for the addict to hear the suggestions you are giving them.  

Be Patient

Though it may be frustrating, you may need to give the individual time. They may not be ready to be taking suggestions that you mentioned just yet.  Being patient and loving the person where they are at until they are capable of loving themselves is part of the recovery process.

Be Supportive

It’s important not to undermine an addict’s success.  Focusing even on small milestones in their recovery can be a great motivator, especially if they aren’t ambitious about taking suggestions.  It’s not too uncommon that addicts won’t want to listen to what other people have to say when they are in the early stages of their recovery.  Making sure that the suggestions you have for the individual are simply just offered as advice and not commands is another important part because it shows that you care. The key is to show support with enabling or being codependent.

Honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are essential components of the equation when it comes to recovering from the disease of addiction.  It can be a complex matter when having to deal with someone who is unwilling to listen and be open to suggestions, so you’ll have to be mindful that the individual is suffering from an actual illness not a moral dilemma.

Be Prepared

Help the addict in your life by educating yourself about the disease of addiction and being equipped with the facts and information so that when they are ready for help you are prepared. If you are unsure how to get prepared, chat live with us now!

There is no cookie cutter answer when it comes to how to handle an addict who is just not willing to take suggestions, remember to also follow your heart and gut and keep reaching out for help! Try attending Al-Anon or Nar-Anon for additional support as well. The more your reach out for help and suggestions, the support you will receive. 

 

The best way to approach your loved one may consist of you being honest and loving. Say what you mean, mean what you say, but try not to say it meanly. Let them know they are loved and you are concerned. This way they will be less likely to feel attacked and more open to your suggestions. 

How To Talk Addiction

Understanding The Disease Of Addiction

It can appear ambiguous for you to be both honest and caring for loved ones at the same time when they are active in their disease of addiction.  How do you be honest with your loved one and yet tell them how their addiction has led them to commit actions that have been negatively impacting them and many others around them?  This is what you may want to remain cautious of because casting blame on your loved one can push them away and deviate them from embracing recovery from their addiction.  When you point the finger at them and make them feel like their compelled use of substances is a moral issue when it is more truthfully an illness, you strip your loved one of truth, in addition to the ability to get better from their ailment.  You hold the stigma against your own loved one, which prevents them from getting better.

Be Open And Honest

Some people want to get to the point about their loved ones addiction because they no longer wish to continue watching their loved ones suffer.  They are ready to be as brutally honest with their loved ones about their disease as possible and there’s nothing wrong with getting to the chase or being upfront about addiction.  However, it is suggested this pressing topic comes out of love, concern, and tolerance.  It’s safe to say that most people, particularly addicts, don’t take well to being attacked or argued with.  If you are going to be honest, it is important to stray away from foul and intimidating words, body language, demeaning and argumentative tones.  Addressing your loved ones addiction isn’t about bringing them down or discussing their defects of character.  It should rather be about focusing on intervening to show how you care about the direction that their life is headed and that you are concerned for their overall well-being and you don’t want to see them go down the wrong path.  Another matter to be mindful of is that your loved one may additionally be suffering from a co-occurring mental disorder, which is often the case when it comes to substance use disorders like addiction.  This is why you may want to be tactful and appropriate instead diving in full force by being too brutally honest in your word choice.

The reality is that addiction claims lives every day and sometimes there is no way to go about bringing up the matter.  If your loved one is suffering from the disease, it cannot go ignored.  Opening the conversation up begins with you speaking to your loved one honestly and openly as best as you can.

CHAT LIVE NOW!

As Christmas approaches many of us are running around trying to find the perfect gift for our loved ones. Sometimes the hardest gifts to give are those you would give to a loved one who is in recovery from drugs and alcohol. Clearly a bottle of wine would be out of the questions, so what do you get the person in your life that is now clean and sober? Here are a few options that might help you out.

Recovery Gift Ideas

Christmas Tree Ornament

There is so much you can do with this one. You can head on over to Michaels craft store and pick up a few essentials. This ornament will be special because you will have put your love and time into it. You can use words like hope, faith, joy, etc… to express how you feel about your loved one and their recovery.

More: DIY Christmas Ornament Ideas

Recovery Jewelry

There are some stores in your area that may already have these items, but if you can’t seem to find a recovery related store near you, try making your very own piece of jewelry that celebrates your loved ones recovery.

More: Jewelry Making Kits

Coffee Mug & Coffee

Get a coffee mug that fits your loved ones personality or maybe a coffee mug with an inspirational saying on it. Then make sure you add either their favorite coffee or a new fancy coffee they have yet to try. You can even add in gift card to a local DD or Starbucks if you want.

Meditation Books

You can easily go to your local bookstore and find tons of mediation books and recovery related material that maybe your loved one hasn’t had the chance to get. Meditation books are an excellent gift for anyone who is new or old in recovery.

Adult Coloring Books

Adult coloring books are all the rage this year and also known to help with calming and meditation practices for those in recovery. If you are looking for a unique gift this season, then an adult coloring book might be the perfect gift this year.

More: Adult Coloring Meditation Books

Trial Yoga or Gym Membership

Yoga and other forms of exercise have proven to help the recovery process. It is no secret that exercise helps battle depression, negative thoughts, fatigue, and extra built up anxiety. A trial gift might just be enough to help your loved one push towards an even healthier lifestyle.

Your Time & Company

The best gift you can actually give your loved one or friend in recovery is your time and your company. Being with those you love and spending quality time is a gift that keeps on giving.

Do you have awesome gift ideas for those in recovery? We want to hear from you! Please share in the comment feed below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The addict and alcoholic who is still suffering in their addiction can feel pretty powerless over their disease, but for the loved one who has to watch, the same kind of powerlessness can be felt. After watching your loved one struggle with drugs or alcohol, you may feel overwhelmed and frustrated, too, but there is still hope. It’s very important that you educate yourself and get the proper support you need moving forward.

What Now?

Try attending a 12-step fellowship for yourself. There isAl-Anon(sister program ofAA), if your loved one suffers from alcoholism, andNar-Anon(sister program ofNA), if your loved one struggles with drug addiction. This is the best place for you to go to learn more about the disease of addiction, alcoholism, and how you can help support your loved one on the road to recovery as well as yourself.

Addiction Education: Awareness, Prevention, & Intervention 

Educating yourself on the disease of addiction will help you not only better understand what your loved one is going through, but also help you help them.

Here are some popular articles that may assist you on your journey into recovery:

Addiction Resources

Articles for family/Friends of addicts and alcoholics that provide information, resources, and support.

Stories Of Hope

Recovery related stories of those who share their past, present, and hopes for the future now that they have discovered recovery. Both stories are shared from addicts/alcoholics and their family members.

Prevention

Kids don’t have a drug problem yet, but you would like to prevent one? Here is a simple guide to helping prevent future drug addiction and alcoholism problems for your loved one.

Intervention

Suggestions and tools to successfully plan and have an substance abuse intervention with your loved one.

Life Savers Program

Substance abuse specialist program that provides information, resources, prevention & intervention services, and support for those who are dealing with someone in active addiction.

lifesaversprogram.com 

1-877-97-LIVES

Help!

Drug abuse, addiction, problem drinking, and alcoholism can be very confusing. Trying to determine if you or your loved one has crossed the line into addiction can be even more confusing. You do not have to do this alone and there are people out there who not only share your experience, but found a way out of the destruction. If you would like to speak with a professional about possible treatment for a substance abuse problem call our 24/7 addiction crisis helpline: 877.975.4837. We are here for you.

 

Related: What To Expect After Rehab

 

Long-Term Recovery from Addiction

What exactly is long-term recovery from addiction?  This can be such a loose term since many individuals can find themselves feeling relief from obsession by continually working a program of recovery, attending 12-step fellowship meetings regularly, and tackling their step work with honesty.  These are the individuals that come to find out the emphasis is put more on the individual’s time spent having worked on themselves instead of the amount of time that they have spent abstinent from substances.  They may come to realize substances were but a symbol of their illness.  Long-term recovery doesn’t have a specific description because there is no “one size fits all” ideal cookie cutter image of how it has to be.  It can look a number of different ways.  The reality is what works for one recovering individual may or may not work for another recovering individual.  The only way to know for certain whether the recovering alcoholic and/or addict can sustain their recovery long-term is whether they can refrain from abusing all mind-altering substances.  It has been suggested that alcoholics and addicts work a strong program of recovery.  Twelve-step fellowships have been proven effective because they reinforce working programs of recovery and commitments of day to day living to maintain sobriety long-term.

Healthy Behaviors

The recovery process may bring new, healthier behaviors that your loved one begins engaging in.  When you take notice of these positive behaviors, you reinforce these actions by encouraging your loved one to continue being productive and make healthy choices.

Offering assistance

Your loved one’s long-term recovery from addiction may exhibit healthy behaviors like offering to help you out, which may be a foreign concept.  When active in addiction, your loved one may have been selfish and cold.  They may have never wanted to help you with anything because they only cared about getting the next fix of their substance, but now they have had time to reflect on how their illness has affected the lives of others, including the people they love and care about the most like you, so now they genuinely want to reach out by being there for you.

Doing tasks without being told

You may see your loved one stepping up during long-term recovery by getting involved in tasks without you having to tell them.  Long-term recovery has potential to make individuals more responsible.  With this responsibility, they have to hold themselves accountable.

Having genuine conversation

Authentic conversations can be expected during long-term recovery.  You may notice your loved one beginning to ask how your day went and holding conversations with you fluently.  This can mean the world to you because when they were active in their disease their mind was elsewhere.  It was probably rare that they asked about your day.

Actively engaged in a 12-step program

Being an active member of a 12-step fellowship will be a good sign of your loved one maintaining long-term recovery.  There is a high success rate of recovery for individuals that regularly attend meetings and work a strong recovery program.

Getting Help

Is your loved one still struggling with an alcohol and/or drug addiction?  Contact The Watershed today and help them find a path toward freedom. 

 

 

When you take a look at the effects of an addiction in the family to alcohol and/or drugs, you might be able to realize the dramatic impact it leaves.  Addiction has the ability to impair relationships for extended periods of time – sometimes even permanently.  If your child is active in addiction and you are pushing them to recover, it can be infuriating for them when you are struggling with the disease of addiction yourself.  Dealing with addiction in the family is a complex matter since it’s a family disease affecting all sufferers and members related. You can’t set your hopes on having your child recover from addiction if you are still active in your own.

Need help now? Click Here!

 Addiction in the Family

You may want your child to recover from their addiction because you love them and want to see them succeed in their life, but at the same token, they may be frustrated with you because they wonder why they must live a new life in recovery while you continue to be active in your own addiction to alcohol and/or drugs.  It’s easy to point the finger and look at other people’s character defects to see what areas could use some fine tuning, but when you have to look at yourself to do serious work, you may not want think the effort is worth it or even required.  Just like your child won’t get any better if they don’t put in any work on themselves in recovery, you won’t notice any change in your own life if you don’t do the same.  You cannot afford to be a hypocrite by telling your child to be one way while you do nothing for yourself.  If you want your child to recover from their illness, set the example and help yourself first.  You can’t help anyone else, including your own child, until you make a change.

Noticing the effects of addiction on the family

When you are actively partaking in abusing drugs and/or drinking alcohol as an addicted parent but then pushing your child to seek help for their own addiction, you are sending mixed messages to them.  Though you are in no way entirely at fault, it’s more than likely that your own addiction played a role in contributing to an emotional disturbance in your child’s life.  This could have contributed to them picking up substances in the first place because they may have felt they needed to escape from your addiction that created a broken family.  Children learn from their parents behaviors and as a result of them being exposed to your addiction, they were more likely to engage in addictive behaviors later in their lives themselves. 

Not to mention, when your child is around you more often, they may be more inclined to look to your behaviors now, so if you are still actively abusing substances, they can become muddled in confusion and think it’s acceptable.  This can lead them straight back into dabbling with substances and bring them right back into their addiction.  For you to continue with your own addiction, it’s as though you want to project your hopes onto your child.  Although it’s encouraging you want your loved one to recover from their disease, you can’t expect them to get better if you are active in your own addiction right in front of them.

 

 

It can be crucial for you to recognize that although you may not be the one who is addicted to alcohol and/or drugs, you can and still may be impacted by the illness your loved one suffers from.  Loved ones of addicts can brush off their feelings but addiction takes a toll on all members involved.  The impact can impair the lives of all who surround the addict, especially when loved ones are engaging in enabling behaviors and unable to manage their own lives.

Related: Enabling vs. Supporting

Family Disease Concept

Having an accurate comprehension of how you may be just as sick as your loved one can be necessary for you so that you can get back to living your own life.  It may be an unfortunate truth but the situation is that being surrounded by a loved one who is active in addiction means you’ve probably had an increased level of stress, additional chaos, need to keep a watchful eye on expensive jewelry, items may have already gone mysteriously missing, and your loved one may be sneaking around lying.  With all this hectic activity compressed into your life now, the former joyful days of rest and favorite pastimes are likely long gone.  You can’t deny your loved one’s addiction has affected you.  It’s likely this caused you to become just as sick as them.  You may not be dependent on alcohol and/or drugs like your loved one, but having an addicted loved one in your life has caused your own life to become unmanageable because you have engaged in unhealthy behaviors, such as self-denial and codependency.  However, the upside is that once you realize there’s a problem that exists and needs to be addressed, you can begin working on it.

Go to meetings and focus on your own recovery

If you come to the realization that you may be just as sick as your loved one, then it should also be revealed to you that you require the same common solution.  Getting your life back on track can begin with implementing your own program of recovery.  This means that you are encouraged to reach out to Twelve Step Fellowships like Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon, Al-Anon, and Co-Dependents Anonymous for support.  This will allow you to be able to work on your own program, so that you can get your own life back on track.  It will be vital for you to be able to separate your loved one’s recovery from your own during this phase in your development. 

Quit enabling

Helping. Protecting. Fixing. Caring. These are all words you may have become accustomed to for explaining actions you took for your loved one such as providing money for them, helping them out of legal trouble, handling responsibilities for them, and generally taking over any task they were capable of completing themselves.  By you doing these tasks for your loved one under the false impression you were helping them, these behaviors actually enabled your loved one’s addiction and contributed to them using.  It may not make sense because you have a deep care and compassion for your loved one, so you want to do everything you can to provide for them but these actions just handicaps them by keeping them sick.

When you face the reality of your loved one’s addiction, you can see how it has affected your own life and get yourself back on track.  As a result, you and your loved one can grow closer.  It isn’t about pushing each other away from one other but instead about getting integrated so each of you can receive the help you both need.  Addiction truly is a family disease and can tear lives apart, taking a toll on each member.  However, there is a choice: nobody has to give the disease all the ultimate power.  The family can get education about addiction and come to see all the effects it has on everyone involved.

Are you concerned about your loved one’s addiction because you see it getting worse?  Contact The Watershed for help today.

 

When it comes to how to deal with an addict, it’s no surprise situations may cause frustration on your behalf.  Addicts are known for testing the waters and stirring trouble, so it can be difficult to stay calm when you’re the loved one of an addict.  With addicts being known as overly sensitive people that overreact in the heat of the moment, there’s no telling what could happen.  Learning how to manage situations with your addicted loved one can prove to help relieve some anxiety for you in addition to benefit the relationship between you and your loved one.

How To Deal

Dealing with an addict is a complex matter in general, but when the addicted individual is irritated, it can get ugly!  How do you handle these situations so that you aren’t ripping your own hair out or feeding into your addicted loved one’s negative behaviors?

Don’t be enabled and play into their game

Addicts are masterminds when it comes to manipulation even when they don’t mean to be. Try listening to what they say, but beware of what you say and do.  Do not play into their game by providing what they want, giving them money, or allowing them to pull any reverse psychology on you.  They may try arguing until they get their way, but they are conning you because an addict wants what they want and they will stop at nothing until they get it.  It’s the root of the selfishness of their disease.

Get enough sleep

When you aren’t taking care of yourself and making sure your physical needs are met like getting a proper night’s sleep, you are only setting yourself up to get distressed by minor frustrations that may arise during the day.  Getting an adequate amount of sleep can help you feel well-rested, calm, and ready for the day ahead.  It can help you be prepared to handle anything your addicted loved one may throw at you.

Finding your own support

Whether you reach out to a support group like Al-anon or communicate with other loved ones of addicts, you should contact others who can be empathetic about what you are dealing with.  It can be the missing link you need that pulls you through and guides you through difficult, confusing, and frustrating times when your addicted loved one throws curve balls in your life, leaving you unsure about what to do next.

Keep calm, cool, and collected

By you remaining the rational one, you prove your addicted loved one to be the person who is escalating out of control.  Either they will be forced to tone it down or they will have to see how they are getting out of hand because they will look ridiculous when you’re speaking softly and they are shouting.

Whenever it comes to how to deal with an addict, your best bet is to be patient while practicing love and tolerance.  It can be frustrating but above all you have to remember your loved one is suffering from an actual illness and they aren’t intentionally trying to hurt you by being malicious.  They are sick and require treatment to get better because addiction is a disease not a moral failing.