Category: Alumni

Getting lost as a human being is one of the easiest yet most painful things that can happen. Going from an easy, breezy life in recovery to something sneaking up on you and shaking your world upside down is scary and confusing. When something like this happens we typically tend to lose sight of what makes us happy and what keeps us grounded.

Maybe you never wanted to lose sight of what matters to you. Maybe you didn’t have a choice because of the circumstances you found yourself in. Either way this is not the time to think about the “what if’s”, this is the time to put your head up and start a new journey, one that you’ll never forget. If you’re reading this it’s because you’ve already spent a lot of time thinking about all that junk. It’s time to be set free.

Tips on Staying True to Yourself

1: Get your best supporters and let them know that you are setting out to be the best you and to stick true to what you desire. They will totally understand and back you up.

2: Make a list of what matters to you the most. You can make this one fun! Take it easy on yourself and don’t think too much. This will help you to become grounded and get back to what helps you stay true to yourself. Exp. Sobriety, Higher Power and Family…

3: Stop focusing on others. An easy way to lose yourself is to focus on others. That is not needed right now. People can and have the right to take care of themselves.

4: Stay on your path. Don’t let the opinions of others deter you from staying true to you.

5: Write. Start a journal. Anyone can take 5 minutes to write, it doesn’t matter if you are a man of woman.

6: Set and keep your boundaries. Do not steer away from your boundaries. Stick true to what you have chosen to make right in your life.

7: Never forget that you are the number one priority. EVER!

We hope these suggestions help to bring you back to a place where you feel comfortable with being who you are. Remember that others go through this same thing and sometimes it easier if you don’t compare your growth to those around you. Stay on your path and know that you’re doing this to be the best possible YOU! 

Staying positive can get tough, but plowing your way through the hurdle as an alcoholic and/or addict to go through the process of recovery will prove to be worth it as you reap the benefits of being happy, joyous, and free in your sobriety.  There can be rough days where it seems like you’ll never find any peace, but this is just the false lie your disease wants to trick you into believing.

Learning How to Stay Positive

There are difficulties when it comes to staying positive when you are working on getting sober because life tends to throw curve balls that you may not expect.  You can stay positive however and may need to end up cutting ties with people who do not benefit your new way of life.  Take a look at the type of people you choose to associate and remain friendly with.  If they bring you down, then the unfortunate truth that you may be left to face is that the friendship is hurting you more than encouraging you.  Relationships should build you up, not tear you down.  Having harmful relationships in your life can impact your sobriety in a negative way.  Alcoholism and addiction are all about relationships and how sufferers of these diseases like you lack the ability to maintain them properly.  Whether you struggle with maintaining proper and healthy relationships, whether it’s in the family, among friends, with a significant other, members in society, or with anyone else, it all comes down to being able to mesh back into the world and feel okay being yourself without needing supplementary aid to help ease your mind.

Related: Staying Positive Through Depression 

When you’re struggling to keep up with the work in your recovery and reverting back to familiar behaviors that might lead to drinking and/or abusing drugs, it’s strongly suggested that you stay positive about the fact that you have been doing the next right thing by moving forward by continuing with your program of recovery.  The reality is you don’t fix what isn’t broken, so don’t stop your program now.  Keep doing what you’ve been doing and stay positive.  Instead of veering off to former bad behaviors or pushing yourself too far with people you know you shouldn’t be seeing or talking to, places you shouldn’t be anywhere near, and things you shouldn’t be in sight of, you should focus on implementing healthier behaviors into your lifestyle that promote your program of recovery.  This will allow you to be lifted up rather than beaten to the ground and set up for a relapse.  When you stay positive and put one foot in front of the other, you are bound to move forward and get to the destination that you need to arrive at.  Healthy behaviors that people should be actively engaging in can include daydreaming, meditation, writing, walking, reading, exercising, sports activities, expressing feelings, and receiving feedback. 

The disease of alcoholism and addiction is not contingent on when the alcoholic and/or addict decides they would like for the obsession to drink and/or drug to be removed.  Recovery doesn’t happen like a magic trick; it takes serious work and isn’t instantaneous.  You may need to be patient while staying positive and taking the recovery process one day at a time.

Comparing yourself to others can be a difficult habit to pull yourself out of, but living in comparison to others is an unhealthy way to live.  Learn how to stop today.

Stop Comparing

One of the most hazardous ways you could function in your life may be by constantly comparing yourself to others around you.  When thoughts pour in the mind that try to put you in line with others as you try to decipher who you are in contrast with others, it creates a muddled mess because people aren’t meant to be determined by looking at others.  A person is not defined by who someone else is not.  When you start looking at where other people are in their personal journey, you can begin to get lost on your own path because you wonder why you haven’t met the same goals.  The reality is that just because someone else has been able to achieve certain goals or get to a certain point in life, doesn’t mean that you have to.  Each person should try to see that life allows different paths for people.

Stop looking at what other people have and you don’t

A huge part of comparing yourself to others can deal with what they have and you don’t.  The best way to come out of this is to remain grateful for what you do have.  Even if you are only able to see positive attributes in other people and then fail to see anything good in yourself, you can pull yourself away from gratitude and instead straight down into feelings of self-pity.  This is why it can be important to focus on all the positive aspects in your life instead of the areas you lack.  You can easily lift yourself up and live in gratitude by doing this regularly.  Living in gratitude can allow you to be content with your own life and prevent you from looking at other people’s lives to see how they compare to yours in order to help determine how you feel about your own.  You won’t need to be living in comparison to others because you will have a distinct and clear stance by already knowing you are at peace with your own life.

Understand that comparing yourself to others doesn’t lift your self-esteem

When you’re comparing yourself to others, the truth is you aren’t boosting your self-esteem.  If you really stop to think about it, have you ever felt better just because you had something that another person didn’t have, such as a nicer car or better job?  You might have felt better for a period of time, but the fact of the matter is that these are materialistic aspects in life that are not substantial enough to last in the long run.  Eventually resources drain, so what were you comparing?  This is where comparing fails.  It’s not how people should be creating their confidence.  Individuals need to look at themselves and learn to be grateful for where they are at in their own walk of life instead of judging how their life looks based on what other people’s looks like.

 Are you stuck comparing yourself to others and active in an addiction to alcohol and/or drugs to mask the obsession?  Reach out for help today by calling The Watershed now.

In the early stages of your recovery, it may seem difficult when considering how to get a sponsor to walk you through the twelve step program so you can get and maintain a life in sobriety.  However, a sponsor plays a significant role during your recovery journey.  Choosing a sponsor can seem overwhelming and many addicted individuals often contemplate over what qualities to look for which can prolong them getting a sponsor and started on working their program of recovery.

Related: The Watershed Facebook Page

How to Get A Sponsor

12-Steps To Recovery

A sponsor is someone that you are going to be working the 12 steps with, so don’t overthink it too much that you decide not to even get one. This is just a simple guide to help you in the direction of finding a sponsor, but should not deter you from ultimately picking one.

Identify: They Understand You

It’s beneficial to find someone you identify with and can connect with. This does not mean they have to be identical to you, it just means that they too have suffered from alcoholism and/or drug addiction and have recovered through the 12-steps.

Time: You Can Count On Them

When picking a sponsor it works best when they have time to meet you and speak with you as you go through the steps. They do not have to devote 100% of their time with you, but enough that you are able to successfully go through the steps as you achieve recovery.

Needs: They Have The Recovery You Seek

Have they done the steps? Are they trying to the best of their ability to practice principles in all their affairs? Do they practice what they say? Are they actively trying to get closer to their higher power and grow in recovery? If you can answer yes to these questions, then they might be the sponsor for you!

Thinking about how to get a sponsor can be overwhelming, but think of it as developing new friendships.  Ultimately, you are creating a network in the Twelve-Step Program composed of sober supports and a sponsor is just one more support to add to that mix. Don’t think about it too much though, because at the end of the day, you just have to make a willing, honest, and open-minded start to begin your journey in recovery.

A plan of action when recovering from an addiction to drugs and/or alcohol can be helpful because the individual may experience setbacks along the way as they trudge forward.  The process of getting and maintaining sobriety can be uncomfortable in the beginning, which is why figuring out a plan that works for the individual is a great suggestion.  A newly recovering alcoholic and/or addict may still be dealing with areas of unmanageability in their life, which can emphasize how they might benefit from having more structure added to their routine.  In addition to this, it can also bring to attention what may be preventing them from progressing further along in their recovery process.

Plan of Action

Structure

Structure is an important and necessary component to the recovering individual’s life.  Without it, they wouldn’t be functional.  Setting up a plan of action and adhering to configuring how to become accustomed to it can provide them comfort because it can bring them consistency.  A recovering individual may need this, especially in the beginning of their recovery when they don’t have the familiarity of substances to resort to as a method of solving their problems.  While they are building healthy coping skills, structure provides a schedule that can help the individual keep themselves accountable for being at locations like work, appointments, and other engagements on time.  When the individual was abusing substances, it’s likely they weren’t as punctual because they were too focused on getting their next fix of the substance.  Now they can be more functional and work toward better time management and more character building exercises.

What’s preventing progress in recovery?

Taking a look at this question can push an individual even further along in their program of recovery, which may be exactly what they need.  When they are able to truly look at this type of question and see what’s holding them back, they can begin to focus on making changes.  If they notice they aren’t attending enough meetings, then the individual can amp their 12-step attendance up a bit, or maybe it is time to start adding different meetings into the mix and mingling with some new recovering individuals in the program.  Trust is built when a recovering individual can be authentic with others in their program of recovery.  Growth cannot be brought when the individual remains stagnant and stays doing the same thing continually.  The individual might like trying out new meetings from time to time to meet new recovering individuals nearby.  Another suggestion may be that the individual has stopped listening, so maybe it’s time to reach out to others in their program of recovery and start taking suggestions.  If the individual in recovery isn’t listening to others, they may be at risk of being on a scary self-will run riot [link to blog], which never turns out well for the individual or anyone in their way.  Not only does this prevent their own progress, but the recovering individual will take out others in their program of recovery too.  The individual’s actions impact the lives of others around them.

Unmanageability can be noticed particularly in the early stages of recovery from drug and/or alcohol addiction, which has potential to stunt their growth.  With a plan of action set in place that involves managing structure and taking a look at what may be preventing progress during recovery, addicted individuals can best tap into their program and focus on living a sober lifestyle.

When you were active in your addiction to alcohol and/or drugs, you were powerless over how to take care of yourself properly and most likely treated yourself with disrespect or a lack of compassion.  Even in recovery, you may latch on to other people, places, and things while longing for these resources to provide the comfort the substances once provided you.  Taking care of yourself in recovery and discovering how to stop controlling people will prove to benefit you as you migrate along your path living happy, joyous, and free.

Learning How to Take Care of Yourself

These ideas seem simple, but basic tips for the process of recovery get overlooked.  Going back to the basics can save you during your recovery to help pull you out of feelings of self-doubt and pity that may seem unbearable in the moment.

Understand your mind plays tricks on you

It’s critical for you as an alcoholic and/or addict to notice how you can’t trust your own thinking.  You cannot afford to stay stuck in your own head and you should always run your “great ideas” by a trusted sponsor, sober supports, and/or professionals.  Alcoholism and addiction are diseases that are cunning, baffling, and powerful.  It’s necessary for you as an alcoholic and/or addict to be reminded on a regular basis that you suffer from a disease and can get clouded in misjudgment.

Certain obligations should be maintained

It should not go unnoticed that the recovery process is a daily reprieve.  Your sobriety is only contingent on the work you do for yourself in that day.  You must keep up with your recovery on a regular basis if you want to stay clean and sober as well as feeling mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually well-balanced.

Meditation and prayer is key to sanity

Getting in touch with your spirituality is important because it can provide you the peace you need in order to stay in tune with your sobriety.  In order to stay level-headed and at ease to veer from mental obsession, you’ll need to find that conscious contact with your spirituality.  If you are struggling throughout the day, then an example like simply calming yourself down through counting backwards can work wonders.

Spot-check yourself throughout day

Checking in on yourself and seeing where you are mentally and emotionally at during the day can help you because it allows you to check in with yourself.  You may begin to notice when you are frustrated, sad, or uncomfortable.  It can prevent you from overreacting and signify if you need to apologize to someone immediately.

Reach out to others

You cannot and do not have to do this process alone.  Recovering from an addiction to alcohol and drugs is extremely difficult and though it may become less of a struggle over time, there are still bound to be moments of deep sorrow.  You may grow to be extremely perplexed and be thrown with challenges.  Your recovery program offers you people who are dealing with the same feelings and disease as you, so use the resources provided and reach out to others in recovery.  It makes all the difference when you can communicate with people who understand where you have been and what you are feeling.

Taking care of yourself may look like a hefty order, but it’s necessary.  You’re worth putting in the effort to treat yourself well.  When learning how to take care of yourself, you’ll naturally learn to stop controlling others and find peace.

More: Self-Care Steps

The person you were when you were active in your addiction to alcohol and/or drugs was likely to be the type that was consumed with self but the countless benefits of sobriety can include allowing you to learn the significance of showing up for life which thankfully pulls you outside.  This could be the greatest gift because it emanates the psychic change that battles the worst of your disease – a sickness of self.  The effects of sobriety can take fold on your every day behavior in the most beautiful way by providing you with the ability recognize selfish and self-seeking tendencies.

Showing Up for Life

In order to understand how far you’ve come as a result of your recovery, you should take a look back at where you were when you were active in your disease.  Remembering how sick you were when you were acting out in selfish, self-seeking, dishonest, and fearful ways shows the progress you’ve made.  Considering specific moments when you affected others negatively can prove how your drinking and drugging impacted more than just you.  The person you were might have been the type that was too busy to respond to your loved ones phone calls because you were out abusing substances late at night and unable to stop to speak with them.  It didn’t matter if there was an emergency because you needed to get right with yourself.  You didn’t care about anyone other than yourself.  Work, school, projects, financial responsibilities, and other obligations did not matter.  The life you had commitments and responsibilities for ceased to matter because you were held captive to your addiction.  Substances were directing your every notion; they were the main driving force in your life.

Today, now that you are working a program of recovery and thinking more clearly, you are able to see the truth and veer away from selfishness because you aren’t actively searching for your next dose to get right with yourself.  You can instead show up for the people you care about.  Sobriety can not only allow you to be present in conversation with others, but can bring you to realizing how vital showing up for life is.  This means engaging with others and not just having meaningless conversation but rather taking the time to be part of what’s going on.  Saying what you feel and meaning what you say by connecting can instill authentic moments that add up to what makes sobriety worth it.  When you were out there drinking and drugging, you may have been craving real moments to fill that gaping hole inside of you, but you instead filled the void with alcohol and/or drugs.  The reality is substances cannot create any substantial, lasting joy.  If a loved one or newcomer in recovery contacts you, the person you are today now that you are clean and sober is likely to be reliable.  You are dependable and can pick up the phone today because you aren’t consumed with yourself or getting the next fix.

Relieving The Obsession To Pickup 

To be relieved of the obsession to drink and/or drug is nothing short of a miracle and showing up for life is something you should not take for granted.  The disease of addiction can pull you away from being present and keep you from seeing the truth about how you are affecting the lives of others around you.  The benefits of sobriety can include bringing you back to reality to help you be able to discover the importance of being there for people like your loved ones.