Lives in Recovery

Category: Alumni

  • Moms In Recovery From Addiction

    Moms In Recovery From Addiction

    With Mother’s Day soon to approach this May 10, you may be on your toes feeling anxious being early in recovery after having been formerly active as a drug addict mother.  Holidays can dredge up unexpected emotions from all angles, so dealing with a date designated for mothers can be particularly difficult.  Facing feelings of guilt and shame may be hard but you can’t stay stuck in the victim role.  Instead, you should pull yourself out to see how far you have travelled throughout the process of recovery so that you can look at how your sobriety can continue to allow you to grow to be the best mother you can be.

    Mother’s Day In Recovery 

    From A Drug Addict Mother…

    When you were active in your addiction to drugs, it probably consumed your every thought and ultimately robbed the precious time you should have been spending with your children, husband, siblings, family members, and other loved ones.  Drug addict mothers can’t be present with their loved ones when they are active in addiction because when they aren’t physically taking their drugs of choice, they’re plotting and virtually obsessing over when they can run off to get their next dose.  This is the insanity of the disease of addiction.  You may have been physically with your children and other loved ones at the dinner table, but your mind was completely somewhere else because you were thinking about where you were going to meet your drug dealer, how much money you need, when you could get more of the drug, what time you would have to leave, how you would get the money, what street you would make the deal on, and where you would need to stop to get any supplementary drug paraphernalia.  Any conversation that was occurring at the family dinner table you were completely missing out on.

    …to Sober Mother

    Now being in recovery, you get a completely different outlook on life that you didn’t have before!  It’s as if you are an entirely different person with a completely fresh pair of eyes and have woken up out of an insane nightmare or been have broken the curse to which someone cast upon you!  You finally get to be present with your children and enjoy the time you spend with them.  Recovery can provide the freedom from the mental obsession to use substances, so you can have this outlook on life where you are in the present moment that is occurring.  You may just find that aren’t fixated on drugs or any type of association with them.  Instead, you may see yourself asking your family how they are doing as you aren’t reverting the conversation back to your own selfish ends. 

    When you can truly communicate with your loved ones as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, or other family member, you may truly see how far you have already come throughout the process of your recovery.  This Mother’s Day, the true gift is being able to be present with the people you spend time with.  Whether you are able to actually see your loved ones or not on this holiday, do your best to remain grateful that you are clean and sober this year and not tearing up a storm hurting others active in your disease as a drug addict mother.

    Are you concerned because you feel you are slipping in your recovery or are actively abusing drugs and/or alcohol?  Contact The Watershed for help now.  You don’t have to continue on with your use.  Live freely from the obsession by calling today.

  • This Father’s Day Present’s the Newly Recovering Alcoholic Dad

     

    Now that Father’s Day is on its way this June 21, you may be feeling uneasy as a newly recovering alcoholic dad.  Whether it’s due to being away from your children during the holiday or having feelings of guilt associated with your disease, you can’t ignore the fact that you’ve been working on yourself to get better.

    Happy Father’s Day

    You’re Not the Same Alcoholic Dad You Were Before

    As an alcoholic dad, there’s no denying you were likely to have fallen short when active in your drinking.  You probably told your children you were going to be there for them emotionally, financially, and literally by attending recitals, competitions, sports games, activities, concerts, and all the like.  However, alcohol was your master.  You were being directed by the substance’s every notion and you had to abide.  There was no way out because, as an alcoholic active in addiction, you were absolutely and completely powerless.  It didn’t matter how much you loved your children or how much you wanted to see them in all of their shining glory on stage in a tutu at their dance recital or score the winning goal in a soccer game.  The bottle was calling your name, but this year is different because you dove into serious self-work.  You took the moral inventory and shared your story with another human being.  You saw where you were selfish, self-seeking, dishonest, and fearful.  Pinpointing where these themes cast themselves in bold throughout your life was pivotal and the greatest part about it was that you were given the opportunity to make changes by clearing the wreckage of your past away and making amends.  You can’t go back in time and magically appear at all of the places you said you would be but didn’t show up at.  You can however start keeping your word when you make promises.  People like your children for example may not believe you at first but when they begin to recognize that you are as good as your word and reliable as a human being, that is substantial.  That proves you have changed.

    Children who refuse to make contact

    It can be difficult if you are a recovering alcoholic dad who has children that refuse to make contact with you, especially on Father’s Day.  Try to remember that sometimes these circumstances change, but even if they don’t, it is not in your best interest to try to control the situation anyway.  It’s important to realize that you didn’t become addicted to alcohol in one day, so the process of recovery isn’t going to be as easy as that either.  Addiction is a family disease and healing from this may take some time.  Giving family members the appropriate amount of time they need to deal with the arising emotions they are feeling can be an important yet difficult part of the process.

    Father’s Day can stir up a great deal of emotions, particularly if you’re a newly recovering alcoholic dad.  Remember not to beat yourself up this year and instead re-shift your focus to the areas which you have triumphed over.  It’s your day as a changed dad, so celebrate yourself and all that you’ve become!

     

  • Simple Steps To Improving Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

    Improving self-esteem during the process of recovery may be a challenge for some addicts and alcoholics, especially if they are just entering early recovery. After putting down the drink and/or drug, it can be easy for some people to be uncomfortable in their own skin and count the traits they don’t like about themselves or what they would rather change. Being able to stop talking negatively and shifting gears to improve self-esteem can be important because it can give them the confidence they need to move forward in their recovery.

    Defeating or Improving Self-Esteem

    The pressure to be perfect, even in a program of recovery, can grow to be enormous. This type of insecurity can be large, as addicts and alcoholics typically have deep rooted self-esteem issues directing their actions. Difficulties may arise and tough decisions may need to be made. This is why it is suggested that a network of sober supports be built and that no decision be made alone early in recovery. When the recovering individual can accept that there is no true “perfect program” to be followed and that the recovery process may have bumps along the way but is a journey of their own nonetheless, the heavy weight of pressure can be taken off their shoulders. There is always room for growth, which goes to show how recovery is a continual process where they get to learn more about themselves as time goes on.

    Each addict and/or alcoholic doesn’t have to understand all of life’s contemplations in one sitting. Just as the idiom goes – easy does it. Allowing time and having patience can be a pivotal part of each recovering individual’s journey. The recovery process isn’t contingent on a specified amount of time. Not everything must be done the way that others do it as long as the individual can be their authentic self. Humans were meant to be perfectly imperfect! Each individual should remember not to beat themselves up or act like anybody other than themselves.

    Self-esteem is a reflection of how much a person believes they are valued. If a person has a low self-esteem, it makes sense that an addict would have sought out alcohol and/or drugs as a coping mechanism to function in society and numb feelings of unworthiness. When an individual enters recovery and is without alcohol and/or drugs, they become vulnerable without healthy coping mechanisms in place to subside and work on improving self-esteem issue that clearly were pre-existing. It may be a concern if the individual is isolating, verbally aggressive, withdrawn, disoriented, talking negatively of themselves, overly critical, reciting strange thoughts, showing extreme social anxiety, or depressed.

    The process of recovery from addiction can have much to do with improving self esteem. Many addicts and alcoholics come to find that they have feelings of low self worth but throughout the process of recovery regain and develop an unconditional love for themselves and others in recovery.

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • How to Build Trust In Recovery

    How to Build Trust In Recovery

    If you have blocked yourself off from developing veritable relationships with others, the root cause more often than not derives from an unhealthy perception. You just might find deeper bonds with people if you learned how to trust.

    How To Build Trust

    It has been mentioned before by many recovering addicts and alcoholics that yesterday’s efforts towards their recovery won’t keep them sober today any more than today’s recovery will keep them sober for the following day. This is a continual process with no end goal or finish line but rather a course that emphasizes adherence to steadiness in the exercise and categorizes the stride by the effort that is put into the work done. The perseverance of this pace can be referred to as the essential aspect of willingness, which is tremendous for recovery if the individual truly wishes to engage in healthier behavior and mindset. The most effective way of how to build trust with others is by practicing honesty and by being the person you would in a friend.

    Trust is imminently valued in sobriety. Individuals in recovery are suggested to take that leap of faith into believing that life gets better as long as they continue to do the work. Sometimes you have to cling to this ideal that they will see a better day, even amidst their darkest moment. You should see that, as time progresses, life becomes better because recovery is a continual process centered on growth. As unfortunate as pain may be, that is how you should know that development is occurring. It isn’t such a negative aspect either. Albert Einstein was a man of pure intelligence who spoke the words, “In difficulty lies opportunity.” These words of his hold truth, depth, and meaning because even in struggle, the addict and/or alcoholic will prevail as long as they don’t call it quits and continue to do the next right thing, bettering themselves one day at a time along the way.

    Are you have difficulties with trust because you can’t seem to stop using drugs and/or drinking? Reach out for help today by contacting The Watershed where you can begin the process of recovery and acquire tools to work toward building essential assets like trust.

  • How To Stop Overthinking

    How To Stop Overthinking

  • Dealing with Guilt and Shame: How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts

    Dealing with guilt and shame are two feelings that most addicts and alcoholics are familiar with. The only way to truly be freed from the burden they posses over your life are to manage them and relinquish the negativity attached. Early in recovery from alcohol and/or drugs, this may feel like a difficult task, but it’s not. This is why it is crucial to remember to not run on self-will alone and remember that recovery is a gradual process that can take a different amount of time for everyone.

    How Are You Dealing with Guilt and Shame?

    As active alcoholics and/or addicts, dealing with guilt and shame usually meant turning to alcohol and/or drugs to disassociate with the world and numb the unwanted feelings. Now in recovery, you don’t have that as a viable option and actually being able to experience these unpleasant feelings isn’t so comfortable. A common trend among alcoholics and addicts who are in the process of recovery is that they resort to negative affirmations, low self-esteem, and live in their character defects as a coping mechanism for dealing with guilt and shame over their past. Without alcohol and/or drugs, an outlet is needed to be sufficed and it can easily manifest in several ways. This is a common way that it does, particularly early in recovery because recovering alcoholics and addicts are most vulnerable since they typically feel beaten, broken, and low. Picking yourself apart won’t do you any good and can actually make matters far worse for yourself. With selfish, self-centered, dishonest, and fearful thoughts rising internally, you are bound to overwhelm yourself with an unhealthy mindset.

    Tips for Stopping Negativity

    Don’t focus on mistakes

    Elbert Hubbard once said, “The greatest mistake you can make in life continually fearing that you’ll make one.” If you are regularly putting all of your attention on what you are doing wrong, you don’t leave much space for all the positivity you might be spreading. When you constantly become anxious over all your wrongdoings, you begin to dwell too much on the negative and bring yourself down. This is one of the leading reasons that cause people to be left dealing with guilt and shame in their lives, all because they let it become over-consumed in their minds. Get out of your head and try focusing more on your successes.

    Accept yourself as you are

    Coming to the realization that all human beings are imperfect will help you see that you don’t have to live up to impossible standards, expectations, or ideals. You don’t have to pretend to be anything that you know deep down you honestly are not. Be loving and tolerant of your authentic self. Acceptance is the answer to all of your problems, especially when it comes to dealing with guilt and shame over the past.

    Stop comparing

    When you get trapped in a life of comparing, you prevent yourself from being able to live the life you deserve. You lessen the value of your own life and reduce your own pleasures by negating its worth because someone else has or did what you conceive to be better. Comparison can easily keep you shameful of yourself and instill negativity within you. Any time you notice yourself comparing your life to others, try to see that everybody is different and on their own journey in life.

    The truth is that as much as dealing with guilt and shame isn’t an enjoyable pastime, it can be necessary and beneficial in the long run. When guilt and shame build up, negative thoughts and feelings are swarmed within. This is never a positive or comfortable situation for the recovering alcoholic and/or addict, so be vigilant of when negativity is arising by taking precautions to ensure your life stays happy, joyous, and free.

    Do you find you have a difficult time dealing with guilt and shame or stopping ongoing negativity because you are in active addiction but don’t know how to stop? Chat live now with someone who understands and can help you live a better life today.

     

     

  • It’s A Wonderful Life When You’re In Recovery

    It’s A Wonderful Life When You’re In Recovery

    With recovery being greatly associated as an altruistic program, individuals in the community can experience double the holiday spirit this holiday season by living in gratitude and continuing to help others attain what was so freely given to them. The gift of recovery is essentially the gift that keeps on giving, which is what makes for a wonderful life beyond the addicts and/or alcoholics wildest dreams. In retrospect and after having some time spent away from mind-altering substances, the individual may have never even fathomed there would have been a holiday where they could have focused on the conversations with their loved ones instead of slipping away to literally slip away to absolute utter intoxication and oblivion.

    It’s A Wonderful Life: Working with Others

    The holiday season put focus on bringing family, friends, and others together in unity. This is a sentiment that the addict and/or alcoholic might have tarnished in previous years through selfish and self-seeking tendencies, but because of the gifts that the process of recovery has presented in their life, they were rewarded plentifully by being granted the luxury of restored peace with their loved ones. These types of gifts have a feeling of fulfillment all on their own to which is so great that the individual could probably not express to its entire extent in words. Instead of the person stopping here under some false belief it could be a conclusion to their recovery process, the most gratifying aspect of noticeable change in an addict and/or alcoholic is seeing their selfishness slip away when they begin to branch out wanting to help others in some way, shape, or form. It’s such a gratifying experience for an individual in recovery to begin working with other addicts and/or alcoholics essentially because they never initially became sober to help others. They began their recovery process simply because they were running themselves down. Their old life was no longer suiting them and what they were doing wasn’t working. Recovery began because they simply wished to stop using. They cared only for themselves and their needs only, so it was probably never intended that they would ever be helping others to achieve the same. That was an unexpected, but rewarding gift in the end because friends wound up being gained – long-lasting, genuine, compassionate, true friendships. It’s almost too simple for an individual in recovery to have a jolly holiday spirit when they are constantly aware and grateful of this, especially when they look back and reflect on when they were active in their own addiction to alcohol and/or drugs when probably nobody wanted to be near them. Recovery brings a gradual change to the individual and grants them a life where they have authentically built relationships with others. Being able to not only cherish, but maintain and strengthen the bonds made with these people shows the absolute psychic change that occurred in the addict and/or alcoholic. How could you not be living in a happy, joyous, and free holiday spirit when you are relieved of the bondage of self with such wondrous capabilities like that?

    The gifts of recovery are endless for the individual in recovery that continues to keep doing the next right thing. Having holiday spirit and the living freely in the present moment are indescribable because nothing can quite explain what it is like for the addict and/or alcoholic to be freed from the prison that was their obsession that latched onto them strong enough to steal them from their own life. There’s truly no greater time than the holidays to be able to rejoice, get around other people in the community, lend a helping hand, reminisce, laugh, and have the absolute best times of your life.

    Do you find that you can’t enjoy life without the aid of alcohol and/or drugs? Contact The Watershed for assistance to get off substances today and live the life you deserve without the crutch of any mind-altering chemicals to change your mood. You’re worthy of true freedom and happiness, so call today at 1-877-975-4837.

     

     

     

     

  • How To Find Happiness

    It is not as difficult to find happiness as one might think. Here are some basic steps you can take to find happiness in your life and experience it on a daily basis.

    So often people associate feelings of pleasure with materialistic means and a tremendous amount of value is misdirected when people use other people, places, and things to determine their own and other people’s self-worth.

    Stop Comparing and Contrasting

    Constantly looking at what others are doing with their lives or what they have isn’t going to get you on par with them, and even if it did, it wouldn’t provide you that sensation of sustainable, gratifying joy. Comparing often leads to being envious and when you are consumed with feelings of jealousy, you become stuck in self-pity. Wondering why you haven’t achieved the same successes as others won’t get you very far. Instead, try being happy and supportive for others. See the success of others as inspiration for you to strive for your own goals and use their joy as motivation to reach your own. It is proven that the happiest people are actively in seek of achieving their goals and that they aren’t so much happy as a result of achieving them but more so due to the fact that they are actively in seek of and working toward something.

    Quit Procrastinating

    If you’re focused on waiting on moments to occur more than you are living in the one you are supposed to be in, then you have a real problem because you are wasting precious time that you could actually be experiencing. The real dilemma with that is that you can’t get back time. It’s not uncommon for people to wait for the alleged “right” time, prolong situations, or have unrealistic expectations that could never measure up to satisfy the ideals. When you quit procrastinating and get to work on whatever it may be that you are committing to, then however meticulously it may be or not, you will start to notice somewhere down the road that you are making progress toward your goals.

    See Work for More than Income

    Having passion in life is an indispensable quality. Subtracting it from any area of your life weakens your own overall well-being and mindset. If you can only see your job as an earning for income, then this could deprive you a significant amount of your joy because you spend a good amount of your time during each week at the place. Try to get more excited and ambitious about work by finding some extra motivation to guide you throughout the day. You may not love every minute of it because there are tasks that may pose a frustrating challenge and it is work after all, but try to lift your spirits up and find something to strive yourself to be more driven during the day. With depth in your work, you will find passion and with that, you will have lasting joy that won’t be snatched from you.

    When it comes to how to find happiness, you can become fully aware of the typical errors that people make and ultimately cost them bouts of happiness time and time again by avoiding being robbed of precious moments to sustain the everlasting experience of joy that you deserve.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Dealing with Jealousy in Family and Relationships

    Dealing with Jealousy in Family and Relationships

    When it comes to family relationships, dealing with jealousy can be a trending theme that almost anyone can easily relate to.  Whether a family member is envious of you or you find yourself jealous over something that has to do with them, the character defect only resides in resentment and thrusts turmoil on both sides of the relationship as a result.  Being aware of these powerful feelings is the beginning step to change, which plays a pivotal role in working on building solid ground for dealing with negative defects that consume and ultimately waste precious otherwise potential useful energy.

    Better Ways of Dealing with Jealousy

    Coming into recovery from alcohol and/or drugs, many individuals might have hoped and leaned toward any softer, easier way but found there was none.  Sometimes the only way to a peaceful state of mind is by trudging through uncomfortable territory and feeling chaotic unwanted emotions that may leave you distressed at first glance.  After sitting with such feelings, they can be addressed and actually dealt with instead of stuffed away or ignored into an oblivion covered up with the artificial immediate gratifications set to last for a short period of time only to leave you feeling worse later on yet yearning for more.  Now when it comes to character defects like jealousy, there are some tips that can help you avoid slipping into that cycle of envying others or becoming paranoid in self-centered thoughts of why others may be jealous of you.

    Silence Is Golden

    Having “restraint of pen and tongue” can help avoid some vicious potential arguments that might be aroused by jealousy on either sides of the fence, meaning that they were caused by either you or a member of the family due to the envious, self-seeking thoughts.  With some self-restraint and knowing when to abstain from speaking, some hurtful words can be saved from being said instead of spitting out vengeful words that spark resentment.

    Forget Guilt

    Sitting in feelings of guilt will keep you sick and amplify feelings of depression.  Jealousy tends to come into full bloom during these intense periods because these are often the times when the lives of others seem far better and comparison sets in all too quickly.  When it comes to dealing with jealousy, don’t sit in self-pity or guilt because the lure is a trap that will keep you stuck in negative feelings.

    Practice Mindfulness

    Be conscious of the human emotion and understand that awareness of jealousy will help you work on removing the defect.  Patience, tolerance, kindliness, and love should help slip away in gradual ease, but only with constant practice will this change occur.

    Refrain from Confrontation

    If you know that your family members are typically inclined on dredging up specific details that embarrass or shame you perhaps because they are envious of your newfound sobriety and joy or that you do this to a family member because you are jealous of a physical trait or peaceful state of mind you believe they are in that you feel you are not, do not immediately act out in self-will by turning to confront them.  This can easily make the situation worse if you jump at them trying to solve the matter unprepared.  In fact, sometimes divulging headfirst into the scenario can cause even greater infliction.  Taking matters lightly and not diving in right away pointing fingers can be more effective in some cases; especially where themes like dealing with jealousy is concerned.  It is equally as important to remember that recovery shows individuals that people are neither good nor bad but rather sick just trying to get well.

    Do you find that you are sick in active addiction longing to get well but don’t know where to start in your recovery process?  Talk live with someone now for help to put an end to drinking and drugging once and for all.  The time is now to get rid of the obsession that these substances have provided for you and discover a new way of life.

     

  • How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts and Overthinking

    How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts and Overthinking

    that corrupts the inner mind all the while preventing the individual from being able to complete typical tasks. Taking a look at how to stop obsessive thoughts from continuing to create disturbance in life can help alleviate the pattern of the catastrophe that the obsession powerfully displays and eventually overtime with repetitive practice may produce some relief.

    How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts

    Be Aware

    Becoming aware of how to stop obsessive thoughts begins with identification of the initial idea that is driving the obsession and directing your thinking in endless circles. This could look like your fears and doubts. A spot check on any pressing concerns in your life may be necessary to dredge out any distress that is causing you to fret and run rampant over and over again living life in your mind. The horrid truth is that when you can’t concisely address issues and instead choose to ignore concerns that you should be dealing with, you give these pressing matters power over you. When you should instead be handling these and are not, they instead begin to grow.

    Misconception

    Having an understanding of how exactly you are misperceiving the thought can help with how to stop obsessive thoughts from continuing to form their nonstop pattern in your mind. All or nothing thinking is one example of a type of thinking that many sufferers of addictive behaviors often display. Perhaps they could only be abusing their substance of choice all the time because moderation was something that they were incapable of understanding, or maybe in relationships they wanted all of their significant other’s time otherwise they didn’t want to be part of that companionship at all. Another misconception would be jumping to seemingly wrong conclusions before all evidence is brought up. When you get ahead of yourself, you put false ideals based on the wrong assumptions and great inaccuracy is the basis of your foundation of alleged knowledge, leading to a shaky structure for thinking to begin with. Exaggeration is an additional way for people to display distorted thinking patterns and exhibit dishonest versions of reality. Some may say that this is a way of expressing creativity but really it is that they are not in concise view of truth. One last most common form of slanted and misguided thinking is discrediting accomplishments or belittling. When you can come to correct these unhealthy ways of thinking, then you can truly view why these negative forms of derailed thinking only cut of your social ties and keep you sick instead of promoting manageability in your life.

    Grow From Error

    Being human, you are prone to making mistakes by error, but that means you are granted with the gift of learning lessons from them. When you can relish in taking a moment to grasp and absorb that lesson, you can focus on how to stop obsessive stops from continuing to rage on that inner ongoing war creating conflict within you. With this, you can truly forgive yourself, let go, and move forward with your life.

    Stay Present

    If you are more focused on being stuck in your head and on those nonstop obsessive thoughts that are going a track record of a mile a minute, then you are not living in the present moment and you are missing out on experiencing exactly where you should be living. You should try to be mindful of where you physically are by focusing on your senses so that you can be brought back into the current reality where you are.

    The concept of how to stop obsessive thoughts can be tedious but the mental mind game that obsession plays is an intense battle involving the art of surrendering. When it becomes difficult to concentrate on your tasks throughout the day, just try to take a minute to calm your mind by bringing yourself back to a quiet state for a moment. Remind yourself that an obsession didn’t take off over night, so it won’t be lifted as quickly either. Recovery is a process and patience is a part of it.

    Are you struggling with the obsession because you are active in your addiction to drugs and/or alcohol? Chat live now!