Lives in Recovery

Category: Acceptance

  • Father’s Day: To The Children of Alcoholics

     

    As children of alcoholics, it can be difficult having an alcoholic father who is actively drinking, especially with Father’s Day coming up on June 21.  A father is supposed to be someone a child can count on for support and turn to when there is nowhere else to go.  These matters can grow complicated for children of alcoholics, who tend to feel left in the dark when their fathers care more for the drink than their children due to being wrapped around in selfishness of their disease.

    More: Adult Children Of Alcoholics

    Dealing with the Alcohol Father

    Children of alcoholics struggle to have an accurate depiction of an adequate and true father.  As if dealing with an alcoholic who is actively drinking isn’t difficult enough, holidays can be particularly rough because they are known for indulging more!  So how does a child who is struggling with an alcoholic father deal with his raging ways during the holiday?  With Father’s Day coming up, your alcoholic father may be in need of several situations being defused, so be careful not to add stress to an already heated situation and be on the lookout.  For example, a scenario where you are having a simple family dinner can easily escalate into chaos if a statement is misunderstood as judgement and an argument erupts.  An alcoholic often blows conversations and topics out of proportion, so beware by keeping on your toes.

    Looking back at the hole in the family

    Father’s Day can emphasize the fact that there’s a missing piece to your family, which can be devastating.  This goes to show how addiction is a family disease.  Alcohol hasn’t just impacted your father’s life, but it has branched out to affect yours and the entire family.  This Father’s Day could be filled with joy and freedom, but alcohol has got your father wrapped in a life of vicious tirades of lies, manipulation, and deceit.  There is hope for your loved one when you encourage them to reach out by seeking help for their alcoholism.  Alcoholism is an actual brain disease, not a moral dilemma.  This means that your father hasn’t deliberately been trying to fail you as a father but rather has been suffering from a true illness that requires treatment.

    What you can do

    This holiday should show you how valuable it is to have a father who could and should be present in your life.  If your father is active in their alcoholism, you should be open and honest by expressing your concerns about his drinking.  In a loving, caring, and concerned way, you can express how you feel he should seek help.  Tell him how you feel he should address the issue by seeking help through attending12-step fellowship meetings, reaching out to a treatment facility, or going to an outpatient service.

    The main point of Father’s Day is to appreciate your father.  Even though children of alcoholics may be frustrated with their fathers for not having been present during important moments in life, you can still enjoy the present moment to the best of your ability.  Try to see that your father isn’t a bad person but rather sick with a disease and in need of treatment for an actual illness.  People can and do recover from the grips of alcoholism every day when they are willing to put in the work on themselves.

    Need help with a loved one who can’t stay clean and sober? Contact Us Now! You do not have do this alone. We can help.

     

  • Finding Peace While Your Child Struggles With Addiction

    Finding Peace While Your Child Struggles With Addiction

     

    When you’re a parent of an addict and/or alcoholic, finding peace when your child is suffering from the disease of addiction can seem impossible.  There is however the hope that you can both find your way back to stabilization. 

    Finding peace in the midst of chaos

    The idea of finding peace can provide relief, especially during extremely vulnerable times.  Realistically, you shouldn’t have to be worrying about whether or not you’ve hugged your child for the last time.  There’s no question your child’s addiction to alcohol and drugs has disrupted the relationship you share because the disease branches off to affect the entire family.

    Let go of the anger

    Setting aside anger may be difficult.  You may not want to do it because you may feel your anger is justified but holding onto the anger isn’t going to change anything.  It will only amplify negativity.  You won’t be finding peace any more than you will be on your way to living happy, joyous, or free.  Instead you will be caging yourself like an animal and keeping yourself locked in chains.  The past is gone.  It’s over and done with.  Now is the time to live and let live.  Your child’s addiction is not your fault, so you shouldn’t be angry at yourself or them for suffering from an actual illness.  You must accept what you simply cannot change, focus on what can be changed through taking action such as seeking treatment to recover, and stop burning up energy foolishly by being angry to instead convert energy more productively into something far more positive for both of your own well-beings.

    Be positive

    If your child is struggling with addiction and not ready or willing to recover from their disease, then staying supportive by reinforcing positive behaviors can assist in helping to push them forward along the way since it can act as a motivator for change.  It’s unfortunate but depending on the age of your child, if your child isn’t willing to put in the effort by working a program of recovery, then there’s realistically only so much you can do for your child when you’ve already intervened, stopped enabling them, cut off financial ties, and provided suggestions for treatment options.  This doesn’t mean recovery is hopeless for your child!  Stay positive about your child recovering.

    Live your life

    There’s no room for codependency in your life when your child is suffering from an addiction.  This can be the ultimate destruction for you finding peace.  If your child is in recovery for their addiction, they have begun chasing after and embracing their newfound life, just as you should too.  Not only will you have more motivation and passion for your life, but you will set a great example for your child.  You deserve to live a rich and fulfilling life!  Remember that addiction is a disease, affecting all members of the family.  It can leave an emotional toll on you.  Immersing your energy into a favorite pastime can help you create a life for yourself.

    Finding peace can be challenging for anyone, especially parents of addicted children.  Not only is it possible for alcoholics and addicts to recover, but it’s also probable for you as parents to overcome a life of turmoil to live peacefully.

    Need more help? Click here or here. 

    Family Resources

    Al-Anon

    Nar-Anon

    CoDA 

     

  • Mothers in Recovery: How To Put Your Recovery First

    Mothers in Recovery: How To Put Your Recovery First

     

    There’s no denying how difficult it can be for both mothers in recovery and those who are aiming to achieve sobriety.  Recovery is possible, even for you as a mother.  Though the idea of leaving your children and/or husband may sound difficult and maintaining a program of recovery can be overwhelming during motherhood, both will end up benefiting you and your family because you will actually be able to present for your loved ones.

    Mothers in Recovery

    Parenting is difficult alone but when combatting sobriety is thrown into the mix, it can become even more of a challenge.  Mothers in recovery certainly don’t have it easy to say the least, especially when you may not want to leave your children and/or husbands to go off into an alcohol and/or drug rehabilitation treatment center to recover.  Keep in mind that you wouldn’t be leaving your family permanently and that you are going away temporarily to get better.  If you had any other type of illness, you wouldn’t stay with your family and refuse treatment because you didn’t want to leave them; you would head right on over to recover so that you could get better as soon as possible and get back to being present with your family.

    Time for recovery

    An issue of concern for most mothers in recovery is finding the time to recover.  This is where mothers like you might stumble into misguided thinking; you should be making time for your recovery program.  The harsh reality is that anything an alcoholic and/or addict places before recovery will ultimately be lost.  Recovery HAS to come first!  This doesn’t mean you should neglect family responsibilities, but it does mean you should be making sure you are viewing treatment as the priority it is.  This means going to rehab, going to meetings, keeping in contact with a sponsor, and working on your program.  You could get connected with a specific Twelve-Step Fellowship meeting for mothers and/or parents so that you know its okay to bring your young children with you to the meeting, or if you have no other option, you may just have to bring your young children with you.  Another option could be trying to find care for your children during that specific meeting time during the week and make the commitment to attend that meeting regularly.  If your children are older and in school, then a great suggestion for you could be to attend meetings and handle recovery-related tasks during this duration when they are pre-occupied.

    Reasons behind substance use explored

    Mothers in recovery should be prepared to look at the reasons why they were resorting to drinking in the first place.  Drinking excessively and/or abusing other substances can be linked to having to combat major stressors.  For example, single mothers can face difficulties regularly if they struggle with finances, finding care for their children, and/or can’t provide as much as they would like.  Even mothers who are married with children still face challenges that might have led them to pick up drinking and/or abusing drugs, such as feeling overwhelmed with marital problems, house care, depression, anxiety, and/or work.  Having discussions with the family and/or professionals can help to alleviate some of this distress.

    Whether you are struggling leaving for treatment or adjusting to your life as one of mothers in recovery and trying to find an adequate balance, motherhood may be tough but it’s worth it when you can experience it sober.

     

  • Letting Go Of Unrealistic Expectations

    Setting unrealistic expectations for your loved one in recovery from an addiction to alcohol and/or drugs by constantly pushing them to reach impossibly high standards that no human could possibly meet isn’t practical.  Surrendering complete control might not arise as such a simple matter but the process of the action may gradually allow you an exit from the insanity as you migrate from being so strict on standards for yourself and your loved one.  You’re not in control and the sooner you can stop trying to mandate how you think your life and your loved one’s life should look, the sooner you can reconfigure your perception so that you’re content with the way life is no matter what circumstance you and your loved one are in.  When you continue to set high expectations for you and your loved one that you know you both cannot meet, you easily set yourself up for failure because you may find reality doesn’t match these unrealistic expectations, which can leave you in great disappointment.

    Unrealistic Expectations

    Preventing yourself from creating unrealistic expectations for you and your loved one begins with noticing them.  How do you know when you have set the bar too high for your loved one in recovery?  Putting too much pressure on your loved one’s recovery process and setting unrealistic expectations even for you as a support system can overlap with a perfectionist attitude and relay signs of codependency.  It can seem like all matters have to be nothing but the absolute best because anything less than this is unacceptable in your eyes.  When you become centrally focused and obsessive in a mindset like this, you can easily get consumed in disillusionment.  Not everything you do is going to be perfect as an encouraging supporter for your loved one, so staying stuck frustrated over what you can and cannot do to help them may not necessarily be beneficial if you continue to wrap your mind around it nonstop.  It’s much better to shift focus on acknowledgment by seeing successes rather than areas of failures.  Try seeing where you know you are able to help without enabling or being codependent.  Don’t be so hard on yourself by acts of diminishment over where you feel you may have failed.  Focusing on the positives instead of the negatives can prove to provide a far greater mindset as a result versus setting yourself up for these unrealistic expectations in the perfectionistic mindset.  By putting pressure on yourself and your loved one to achieve these goals that are so high they wind up meeting criteria near unachievable, you crush the ability of accomplishing real dreams and can prevent future successes while instilling hopelessness within.  Sometimes you can tell you have set yourself up for failure when you have an idea initiated in your mind of how an event will go.  If you’ve been living in your head more than down on in Earth in reality, it’s a warning sign you may be in over your head.

     Recovery from Addiction

    Your loved one may have their own unrealistic expectations in recovery, which can be extremely overbearing for them to initially be combatting.  Naturally they may want relief from their obsession to drink and/or use drugs to be removed instantaneously like the snap of a finger and although this can happen right away for some in early stages of their recovery process, it may take longer for others.  It’s unrealistic to set a time and a date of when the obsession to abuse substances should be removed.  Remembering your loved one didn’t become addicted in one day and that recovery is a process helps because it may take some time to get to a place where they are more comfortable in their recovery.  This is why it’s necessary for your loved one to identify with others instead of compare.  If you’re loved one is busy comparing, segregation may occur.  This puts placement of people as greater than or less than according to their perception, which is unjust.  In recovery, it can be seen that people don’t have to be compared and that each individual has the common bond of the disease of addiction to relate to.

  • Mothers of Addicts: Understanding How the Disease Impacts the Family

    Mothers of Addicts: Understanding How the Disease Impacts the Family

    It’s evident how mothers of addicts face challenges with their children throughout their addiction.  For mothers, it can be difficult to watch as your children battle addiction because you can feel completely helpless.  The sad reality is that addiction expels onward and can affect the entire family.  Not to mention, there is nothing quite like a mother and child love.  Mother’s Day is approaching this upcoming May 10 and whether your child is recovering from their addiction or still active in their use, the holiday can bring up some overwhelming feelings for you.  Continuing to learn about the disease of addiction and grasping that your child’s addiction is not your fault are both important components that can be pivotal in helping to keep your spirit lifted this Mother’s Day.

    Addicts Mom

    If your child is in recovery for an addiction, this Mother’s Day, you may be resting more at ease than you may have in previous years.  In times past, you might have been on edge because despite your child physically being present, they may have had their arms crossed, eyebrows pointed down, and been in a cranky mood the entire time as they obsessed over abusing substances.  They may have been under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs the whole time they were with you, or they may have snuck off to get a fix of their substance because they needed it immediately at any and all costs.  When your child was acting out in these selfish, self-seeking, and dishonest ways, they walked all over you and hurt you in ways they may have not realized at the time.  This Mother’s Day is different now that your child is in recovery, not just because they will be sober this year but because they will be emotionally and mentally present with you!  A difference can be seen when individuals like your children are emotionally and mentally present because their minds won’t be wandering elsewhere.  They can be engaged in the conversation.  You will be able to see them light up in conversation, ask questions about how you are doing, and you may notice they are respectful when speaking to you. 

    Understanding the fear component

    Aside from your child being both respectful and present, another great piece about this Mother’s Day is that now that your child is in recovery you won’t be living in the same fear you had during your child’s active addiction.  One defining characteristic of being mothers of addicts can be living in fear because you never knew when your child would be coming home, if your child would be coming home sober or safe, or if you would have to be bailing your child out of jail or picking them up in an unsafe location at a ludicrous hour.  This Mother’s Day can make you grateful that since your child is not active in their disease, they are making better choices.  Your child can think clearly, make rational decisions, and therefore genuinely want to be spending time partaking in healthy activities with you during the holiday specifically designated for celebrating all that you do.

    Remember this Mother’s Day is different than the rest if your child is in recovery.  It can be particularly special if it is the first year you get to spend together and your child is sober.  Savor every moment you get to spend together.  If you don’t get to see your child this Mother’s Day or have lost your loved one due to the disease of addiction, you can always write a personalized letter, pray or meditate to your loved one out loud, plant a flower in their memory, or share a favorite story about your child on the day to keep their memory going.  Stories keep loved ones alive and spreading awareness about the disease of addiction can help to get the word out to prevent more occurrences of dangers associated with drug use.

    Is someone you know and love still active in an addiction to drugs and/or alcohol?  Contact The Watershed for help today.  It is possible to be pulled out of the cycle.  Recovery is attainable for anybody who wishes to achieve it.

  • What Is Codependency? 5 Patterns from Codependent Relationships

    Have you ever wondered what codependency is? With Valentine’s Day coming up, you might be anxious over whether your relationship is healthy or instead in jeopardy due to having a complete misinterpretation on the idea of love.

    What Is Codependency?

    What is codependency really? There are five main patterns that can be pulled out from codependent relationships: denial, low self esteem, compliance, control, and avoidance. By learning about these categories that best describe what is codependency and how it can stem later on in a relationship; you should be able to get a clearer image of what an unhealthy codependent relationship may look like.

    Denial

    The individual suffering from codependency issues with a pattern of denial will have trouble deciphering their feelings. They may struggle to understand their emotions and put them into words. This could mean they’re dependent on other people to explain how they feel. These types of codependents can tend to lessen, change, and deny the authentic nature of their feelings when they do know what they genuinely feel as a way to manipulate their partners into coinciding. When denial is involved as the pattern of a codependency issue, dishonesty can become a great pressing issue of concern.

    Low self-esteem

    Many codependency traits can stem from having a low self-esteem, making this pattern prime. People with this pattern tend to be indecisive and constantly criticize themselves in harsh judgement. They typically view themselves as never being good enough. Because they view themselves lowly, they may commonly rebuke any type of appraisal from others and yet paradoxically, they may strive for acceptance of the people around them.

    Compliance

    Codependents who struggle with the compliancy dynamic fear being authentic. They are keen on hiding their true thoughts and feelings while going the extra mile to please others. To avoid being turned down, they will settle their own beliefs.

    Control

    Control is largely involved in patterns of codependency relationships. This category of individuals is constantly trying to persuade other people to see matters their way. They often give people their advice without being asked and can grow upset when it isn’t taken. Blaming and placing shame on others to manipulate the situation but then using charm to come off caring can be their typical fashion to get what they want from others.

    Avoidance

    Avoiding codependents welcome others into their life that they know will turn against them to shame and reject them. They are harsh critics of others. With the tendency to repress their emotions, these codependents fear being vulnerable. They are likely to bring people toward them, only to quickly push them right away.

    So what is codependency when it comes to relationships? There are different patterns and traits that add up to the composition of codependent people. Codependent relationships are unhealthy because either one person and sometimes both people involved have issues going on that should be brought to the surface to be dealt with instead of kept at bay. When the matters are pushed down, it only dampens the relationship. This can cause a lack of a healthy understanding in proper boundaries in other interpersonal relationships, general low self worth, dependency to alternative sources like alcohol and/or other drugs, and intimacy issues. Understanding that there are five main patterns can help in the process of identifying specific types of codependency, so that you can take a better look at what is codependency.

    Do you think you might be suffering from codependency? Look up Codependents Anonymous meetings near you.

     

     

     

     

  • Parents of Addicts: Your Child’s Addiction Is Not Your Fault

    Parents of Addicts: Your Child’s Addiction Is Not Your Fault

     

    Being parents of addicts is a matter that most families didn’t quite anticipate even imagining to happen to them until it was made full-blown aware that the disease of addiction was causing their child to act out so outrageously.  While some families get torn apart and others remain together though distraught, either way, they encounter the battle to save their child’s life.  On top of this, parents often accumulate cycling thoughts of self-doubt and remorseful guilt as they question whether their child’s addiction had something to do with them.  Learning to cope with your child’s addiction is a tricky matter, but rest assured that it is not your fault and that you just need to find some acceptance.

    Parents of Addicts

    Guilt is uncomfortable and unpleasant.  As parents of addicts, you’re probably already overwhelmed with the extremity of where addiction has brought your child and you don’t need any feelings of guilt to additionally topple over that.  The truth is that nothing that you did caused or would have prevented your child’s addiction.  You need to understand that this addiction is not a choice and that they are powerless over that drug.  Your child did not wish to be an addict any more than you wished to be the parent of one.

    Dealing with Pain

    You probably saw the life you knew with your child changed drastically.  Maybe there’s not a specific day you can remember when you realized you didn’t recognize your child anymore, but looking back on it you could probably recall a slew of instances in which your child echoed verbally aggressive, disruptive, defensive, or isolative behavior leading up to the complete personality change that drugs ultimately took as an effect on their life.  The world you lived and the child you knew suddenly were completely different, but you have to understand that this was not by your doings and that no love could have stopped their addiction cycle.  It can be devastating when you dwell on the past and who your child was, so just focus on the fact that the beloved little child you knew is sick and that you need to help them get better by supporting them and seeking treatment for them to get better.

    It can be extremely difficult when you are playing the blame game and backtracking in your mind where you went wrong as parents of addicts, but the truth is that you didn’t necessarily go wrong anywhere.  Your child has a disease and the addiction was inevitable after that first drug.  Allowing yourself to be freed from the guilt is okay.  Your family can make it through the peril that the disease of addiction has caused, but the more that you cast blame on yourself, the more you will unrightfully resent yourself for something that you simply had no control over.  Do what you can now as a parent and be by your child’s side during this difficult time.

    If you need more support and would like help in coping with your child’s addiction, we can help. The Watershed’s Family Outreach program can help support you during this difficult time of healing and recovery. Click here for more information: The Watershed Family Outreach Program 

    Looking for more? Click here: If Prevention Can’t Stop Addiction

    If you are unsure of what to do about your child’s addiction, call The Watershed today at 1-877-975-4837.  Let us help you get your child’s life back on track.

     

  • Alcoholism is a Disease

    Alcoholism is a Disease

    The 12 steps of Al-anon begin with the first one: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Or as someone once said, admitted we were powerless over people, places, things and situations.

    I never realized that what I was dealing with was alcoholism. I had been so focused on my loved ones behavior and all that it was doing to the family, I thought the drinking was just a side issue. I thought that my loved one was using the alcohol as an excuse to do and behave the way he wanted to and trying to get out of the consequences. I did not realize that NOT Drinking wasn’t an option for him. I was dealing with an Alcoholic which I always thought was an excuse for someone that really couldn’t handle their liquor. I had no idea it was an actual disease!

    When I came into Al-anon I was introduced to the disease concept that my loved one suffered from. I was told that he has a disease that affects him physically, mentally and spiritually. That once the spiritual part was cleared up he could recover in the other areas. He was unable to stop for any length of time due to the obsession of the mind for alcohol that blocks out all sound reasoning. And once he put the alcohol into his system he was what they called allergic to it and he would be off on another spree. Not by choice this was just what happened to someone that was a REAL Alcoholic.

    So when I came into Al-anon and read that first step and listened to what the others were saying, suddenly all the insanity began to make a little sense. It didn’t change the situation any, not at all, but it did give ME something that I hadn’t had before. It allowed me to see that an alcoholic is someone who is sick and in need of understanding and encouragement every bit as much as I needed it to begin my own recovery.

    Learning about the Disease of Alcoholism really helped me to begin to focus on myself and my own spiritual growth rather than focusing on the alcoholic in my life or anyone else’s behavior, but my own. Hence my journey into Al-anon and the 12 steps began. The 12 steps taught me that if I do my part to clean up my side of the street, I will gain a measure of serenity, regardless of the chaos around me.

  • Common Questions Loved Ones Have About Recovery

    Common Questions Loved Ones Have About Recovery

    There are several common questions that may arise for those who have someone close to them dealing with a drug and/or alcohol addiction. When these matters can be addressed up front, the family and friends of the addict can have more knowledge of how to better handle the disease they are dealing with. When they know how to react and cope with the severity of the illness they are faced to combat, they can come together in unity to further support to the process of the addict’s recovery.

    Addressing Common Questions of Addiction

    How is addiction a disease?

    One of the most common questions asked and debated by professionals, society, families, and even addicts themselves, is the question about regarding how addiction is an illness. Addiction has officially been defined as a chronic brain disease because of the obsessive compulsion that the individual experiences when they are unable to stop acting out on the behavior in spite of negative consequences and continue repeating this vicious pattern uncontrollably. It needs to be continued to be viewed as the mental illness that it truly is.

    What purpose do meetings have and how long will the addict have to attend them?

    The focus is not so much on the attendance of the meetings, but on the program and principles of the message itself behind them. Fellowships allow alcoholics and/or addicts a solution to recover from their common problem. As far as the length of time is concerned, your loved one who is suffering from the disease of addiction may have to attend these meetings regularly because at these meetings they are encouraged that they can only stay away from the crutch that alcohol and/or drugs provide “one day at a time,” meaning that they only receive a daily reprieve. In other words, they get their daily dose of medicine by attending these meetings and working a solid program by maintaining it.

    If they were addicted to drugs only, can they still drink alcohol?

    Many addicts have this as one of common questions because they are quick to view alcohol as separate from drugs but alcohol is a drug and this should not be confused. Alcohol is a mind-altering substance and an addict susceptible to that same allergy, which is the adverse reaction to these chemicals that cause the compulsion for the individual to continually use them uncontrollably because ultimately they are powerless over when they pick up that first substance. Even if you don’t think your loved one had a problem with alcohol, the point is that alcohol is a substance and your loved one suffers from the disease of addiction, so they cannot afford to be tampering with the unleashing of the beast that may awaken when playing games of substituting one substance for another.

    When will my loved one be cured?

    Addiction is a disease with no known cure, but it is treatable. Recovery is a process where individuals may face challenges, which is why they should remain humble and vigilant.

    Is your loved one hanging on by a thread and yearning for that next drink and/or drug? Contact The Watershed for help today because help can be found so that it is possible for your loved one to achieve a new life in recovery and live free from the prison of addiction.

    Need more support?

    Al-Anon – support group for those who are affected by problem drinkers.

    Nar-Anon – support group for those who are affected by drug abusers.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • How To Start Supporting And Stop Enabling An Addict

    How To Start Supporting And Stop Enabling An Addict

    Enabling simply means “to make something possible,” and can sometimes be confused with support. Having a loved one suffer from the disease of addiction is an issue all on its own, but it can become especially exhausting when you find yourself regularly fretting over the question of whether or not you are enabling or supporting them.

    Enable Vs. Support

    A majority of people commonly associate the meaning of enable with the addict’s relationships with others, most particularly of which include their parents, children, siblings, or significant other. The closer the relationship is, the more difficult it can be to stray away from enabling and sometimes even notice when it’s occurring. When it comes to being aware of when you may be enabling your loved one’s addiction, you should know that what may work for some people, may not end up working for you.

    Many families are trained to cut all ties when their loved one refuses help and continues on with their drug abuse. They are told to do this so that the addict will reach a bottom low enough to prompt them to seek help by choice. This can be particularly rough for parents to do this to their children, but in some cases, there are just no other viable options. Since it can be challenging to strengthen your role as a parent by giving your children the ultimatum of seeking treatment or “figuring it out” on their own, less extreme actions can be taken to reduce enabling their addiction. For instance, no longer financially supporting or cleaning up after your child may give them an extra nudge to take some responsibility in their life. If nothing else, it will make them have to put greater effort toward financing their habit and create more visible unmanageability. In some cases, this may make matters worse by putting strain on the entire family. If this happens, you may find it beneficial to reach out for external professional help. Helping your child into treatment is considered the best form of support and should not be viewed as enabling.

    Addiction Affects The Entire Family

    If you are a concerned family member of an addict and are worried about enabling them, it may be best to stage an intervention along with other family members as well. If they have been staying with you and continuing to use their drug of choice, you may feel it’s best to let them know that if they don’t put an effort into cleaning up their act, then they should find somewhere else to stay. You should not be covering up for them or correcting their mistakes. Not only does this prolong their use, but it makes the continuation of their use easier. If an addict doesn’t run into any problems that stem from the result of using, why would they ever feel inclined to stop?

    Significant Other of Addict

    Even just believing your loved one’s lies can quickly transcend toward the meaning of enable. When their excuses become questionable and you choose to let it slide when there is more than reasonable doubt, you give them the power to take advantage of you. When the addict knows they can easily manipulate, they will keep doing this because there is no consequence for their actions. It can be heartbreaking and downright difficult to confront your loved one’s problem, but you have to stand up to them or risk being of assistance to their sickness by not being proactive in reducing the madness.

    Codependency and Enabling

    Many people close with an addict fail to realize that they are inclined to continue enabling the one they love most because they themselves are in an unhealthy codependent relationship with the addict. The meaning of enable is hard to entirely grasp because you may not clearly see how helping them is actually hurting them. You may also be unaware in seeing how badly someone is truly suffering. This could be because you want them to be the good person you perceive them to be. After all, you may figure ignorance is bliss, but that alone is enabling them because you don’t want to see the problem that their addiction really is.

    If you are unsure if you are enabling or supporting your loved one’s addiction, you can talk to one of our addiction specialists today for more information. 1-877-975-4837.

    Is your loved one sober, but still acting out in addictive behaviors? Click here: Enabling The Personality of An Addict or Alcoholic.