Category: Alumni

Emotional sobriety is a term used that describes the recovery process past physical sobriety. We find that just putting down the drugs and alcohol is not enough for an addict or alcoholics to stay clean and sober long-term. More work has to be done in order to maintain recovery.

How to Protect Emotional Sobriety

The best ways to ensure you keep your emotional sobriety in check can begin with being aware of your daily typical needs.  You can’t expect yourself to be helping others in your program of recovery and doing the next right thing when you aren’t adequately taking care of yourself.  When you aren’t thinking clearly and aren’t in the right state of mind, it’s usually because you haven’t met your own needs for basic functioning.  This can be dangerous for an addicted individual because it can lead them to believing in disillusionment.  When basic needs like hunger, loneliness, comfort, and rest are taken care of, be sure to remain aware of dangers and keep in check that as a recovering alcoholic and/or addict, you are maintaining your program of recovery!

Beware of Dangers

Meeting Makers Make It (when you work it)

Be careful you aren’t inadvertently beginning to slip on regular 12-step meeting attendance.  This can leave you feeling negative, making you sit and grovel in feelings of self-pity.  This can push you to the times where you know should be picking up the phone, dialing your sober supports, reaching out, and especially veering away from the subject of yourself.  Protect your emotional sobriety by asking how their days are going too!  Getting out of your head and talking with another alcoholic and/or addict will always save the day.

Attitude Of Gratitude

There can be a change in character if a recovering individual becomes noticeably more judgemental, short-tempered, aggravated, belligerent, prideful, or acts out in other ways.  Nobody is perfect, even when it comes to working a program in recovery.  However, by continuing to work at looking at what character defects exist and instead focus on transforming them into assets, a total change in attitude doesn’t have to pose as much of a danger to your emotional sobriety.  It can instead serve you by keeping you sober because it allows you to continue working on yourself in your program of recovery through a daily reprieve.

Think Think Think

Alcoholics and addicts are known to obsess.  It’s a main component attributed with these diseases.  Protecting your emotional sobriety is dependent on you straying from being stuck inside your head.  When you’re trapped cycling on replay in your mind, you allow your head to play devilish tricks on you.  This is where self-sabotage can come into play and negative behaviors can unfold if you aren’t careful about your thinking.

Get Out Of Your Own Way

When taking part in behaviors that constitute as self-sabotage, emotional sobriety goes out the window.  Self-sabotaging behaviors are defined as actions where individuals commit actions that cause damage to themselves.  Self-sabotage can occur when everything in an individual’s life is going along fine but they are so unfamiliar with the feeling of contentedness that they don’t know how to accept and maintain it so they instead are compelled to undermine their success by creating chaos in their life. 

Additional ways to pull yourself out so that you can avoid pitfalls of endangering your emotional sobriety can include keeping yourself honest with yourself.  Understand what’s pressing you by writing down your thoughts.  When you aren’t being honest with yourself, you’re hurting yourself most by preventing the truth of the reality from being known.  This is what ultimately results in self-sabotage!  Instead of allowing your actions to lead you down this path, try to implement healthier choices and behaviors by treating your emotional sobriety like your physical health. Understand your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being are all equally important.  When one of these is off balance, it can affect one another.

Are you stuck in the spiral of active addiction to alcohol and/or drugs but unsure where to turn?  Contact The Watershed today for help.  You don’t have to suffer in silence alone from this seemingly hopeless disease.  You can recover when you call today and walk free from obsession.

Whether you’ve been in recovery for an addiction to alcohol and/or drugs for a short period of time or several decades, sobriety may seem as though it’s beginning to get monotonous.  You can change your attitude by reigniting the fire when you learn about new ways to live happy, joyous, and free.

Ways to Live Happy, Joyous, and Free

You may have already tried these ways to live happy in sobriety, but revisiting some of the techniques or implementing additional changes to the routines can prove effective in aiding to a more meaningful life.

Exercise

Exercising doesn’t just promote your physical health, but it’s also been proven that exercise can benefit you by releasing chemicals in the brain and produce endorphins that make you happy.  This can contribute to a better overall state of mental and emotional well-being.

Stop holding grudges

If you had to choose between being happy or right, then wouldn’t you want to live happy?  Holding a grudge against other people means you are keeping resentments and burying anger inside of you.  This can end up hurting you because you’re robbing yourself of joy.  Stop wasting time and burning up energy foolishly by staying angry.  Learn to let go through moving forward with your own life.  You can do this by understanding that because everybody is different, not everyone will act the same way.  Try to see each situation from a separate perspective.

Experience nature and outdoors

Listen to the birds chirp.  Look at the sky.  Go hiking in the mountains.  Watch the sun set.  These simple actions all bring you back down to reality to experience true peace and joy.  It can pull you away from all the hectic technology of today’s time and show you how simple life can be.  True freedom can be exposed to you as you watch simplicity at its finest.

Invest time in reading books

Odds are that you didn’t have your face in between pages while you were hooked on substances, but now that you’re clean and sober you have the time to invest in some reading.  You can discover a new method of getting outside of this world while still promoting your sobriety by indulging in a fictitious book or you can choose to enhance your knowledge by picking up educational literature.

Set goals for yourself

When actively drinking and/or abusing drugs, it’s not unlikely you set the bar low for yourself, but now you have the ability to change that.  You may have already come up with several goals to implement in your life.  However, have you written them down?  Thinking of a goal and putting it down on paper are completely different.  When you commit to writing down a goal, it becomes real and then you know you have a mission you are striving toward. 

With these suggestions for ways to live happy, joyous, and free, you are bound to reignite the fire in your belly during your sobriety.  You won’t have to fret over your recovery causing your life to become dull.  Life is too short and precious to get wrapped up in any mundane routine anyway, so you want to be sure you are making the most of it!  Remember, you didn’t get sober to be unhappy but instead live your life to the fullest while being present and aware of the moments as they happen.

Are you unable to enjoy your life because you’re trapped in the cycle of addiction to alcohol and/or drugs?  Contact The Watershed for help now because you don’t have to stay stuck in addiction.  You can be living happy, joyous, and free, so call today!

The concept of a self will run riot may be an idea that comes naturally to an alcoholic and/or addict.  However, recovering individuals may not realize they have been on one until after the fact.  It’s easier to reflect back on the story after the damage has already been done and the person can look back to wonder what they were thinking instead.

Definition of Self Will Run Riot

What exactly defines a self will run riot?  Like it is stated on Page 62 in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, the definition of a self will run riot can best be described as self-reliance being placed before being humble.  When an addicted individual has crossed over and is actively engaging in behaviors that constitute as living in such a mode that promotes this method of self will, they may not initially realize how detrimental their behavioral patterns are until later conducting more introspective viewing.  When they can take a better look at their own actions through inventory and see how they have been acting, then they can better understand how to combat their addictive nature and tackle it with the utmost of sincerity.  In active addiction to alcohol and/or drugs, matters can easily get muddled as individuals may often wonder what exactly constitutes as self will.  Addicted individuals tend to want what they want when they want it, not realizing how selfish and self-seeking these tendencies are or that their actions impact the lives of others around them as a result, which often stems from their substance use.

Examples

Geographical fix

Fleeing on a trip can constitute as a self will run riot because wherever the individual goes, not only are they stuck with themselves but this also means that they can’t run from the problems going on in their life.  Each individual should learn effective ways of dealing with the problems that arise in their lives instead of physically leaving every time something goes wrong in their life.  When a situation doesn’t look how the individual would prefer it to look, it usually means the person is criticizing the way of the world and claiming it doesn’t look right, according to their conviction.  This is an issue regarding control because the individual believes that the way they view their life is the right and only way of viewing it.

False ideals of romance, relationships, and/or intimacy

Self will run riots can involve misconceptions regarding romantic, relational, and/or intimate endeavors.  These can typically involve occurrences where individuals manipulate situations with counterparts they come across to go their way.  Actions like these can manifest when individuals get the driving urge that they must have these people and/or their feelings reciprocated.  Obsession is born from this and a self will run riot is ensued.  There is a great deal of control played in this scenario, which is why the notion of self will becomes evident while scheming and underhanded manipulation comes out.  Even when alcoholics and addicts aren’t active in their use and haven’t picked up a substance, they can put their emotional sobriety at risk by heading off to the races on this self will run riot.

With just a couple examples of how a self will run riot can take over an addicted individual’s mindset, it can be seen how cunning, baffling, and powerful the disease of addiction is.  Self reliance will fail the alcoholic and addict, but humility will pull the individual through the recovery process when they strive to understand the principle and stray away from trying to control every aspect of their life.

Are you stuck in active addiction alcohol and/or drugs?  Contact The Watershed for help today because recovery is possible.  

When problems arise, the alcohol and/or addict may be used to quickly turning to alcohol and/or drugs but now they have to face the situation with a sober mind and see just how they can implement important principles into their newfound sober lifestyle.  A sober lifestyle goes beyond more than abstinence from alcohol and drugs.  Sobriety constitutes the ability to make less destructive, healthier choices in life and when poor decisions or mistakes are made, they hopefully find the inner strength to be accountable and make amends to anyone who may have been harmed when caught in the cross fire.  In fearful times where there is great distress, it can seem as though there is no resolution.  This is what the disease of addiction would like for you to believe.  It wants you to think that there is no hope even after you have found or entirely reconstructed it.  This is why it is imperative that when calamity tempers its way back into your life, you immerse yourself with others in recovery and redirect your efforts into being of service to others.

Personal Growth: Pause During Problems

In chess, if a player is unsure of a move to make, he is wise at best to not make a move at all.  As it pertains to recovery, if an alcoholic and/or addict is unsure about what to do in a particular circumstance in their life, they should abstain from doing anything at all.  By not doing anything at all, the opportunity is given for clarity.  When clarity occurs, the alcoholic and/or addict is able to look past the fallacies in their life that keep them stagnant or decant from spiritual growth which is necessary for the malady of the disease of which they suffer.  To a typical person, doing nothing can seem simple.  But what sounds like such a simple matter can be a difficult task for the alcoholic and/or addict because of how complex people they usually are.   An alcoholic and/or addict may however be keen on sticking to their instincts, which in theory may sound good, but this can easily get them into trouble.  When these gut feelings are followed, this sense of bewilderment is followed and false hope is satisfied.  The individual sets themselves up and solely runs on this self-will bound journey.  When their thinking is rooted on what they think is best, a rapid drop can follow shortly thereafter.  The alcoholic and/or addict must be willing to set aside what they know and pause the situations currently occurring to take a look at what they are truly facing.  The answers will come when they are open to prospering their spiritual boundaries to which there is no ceiling high enough to restrain them with limitations.  This means that the individual will be granted an unthinkable inner change.  With more progress done spiritually through this, fallacies will hold no such boundaries.  There will be no more people taken out in the cross fire.

Enhancing Personal Growth

Growth should always be seen as a positive aspect!  In times of struggle, however, growth is typically one of the best gears to shift toward in motivation to get out any uncomfortable and unwanted feelings.  So, what are some ways that you can enhance your personal growth?  Taking the time to read works of literature on topics that promote wellness, spirituality, beliefs, lessons, morality, ethics, recovery, or teach you something of value can be particularly stimulating and cause your mind to expand.  Anything that broadens your mind like this can help enhance your spirituality and allow you to grow as a human being.  Meditating also has a great reputation for doing this as well because it gives you a great conscious contact with your inner self and the surrounding present world you reside in.  Group studies, discussions with friends, nature walks, listening to music, and even picking up a new hobby are among a few other suggestions that can assist you in practicing healthy ways of mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually developing on your journey toward personal growth.

What is the shortcomings definition anyway? Where here words like “character defects” and “shortcomings” all the time in the rooms, but what does it mean? Many alcoholics and addicts ponder this question, as they try to determine whether there is a difference between its meaning and character defects. Both terms are habitually brought up in programs where individuals strive toward recovery as these alcoholics and/or addicts discuss areas in their lives in which they feel they have a great opportunity to work on because they have come to find out that alcohol and/or drugs was but a symptom of their disease.

Shortcomings Definition: What Does It Mean?

The character defects and shortcomings definition, which are synonymous, explain that the real root of the individual’s disease was their habit of holding onto unhealthy resentments, fear, dishonesty, and selfishness. This is what ultimately caused them to live in a tide of unpleasant emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual distress, leading them to pick up that drink and/or drug that ignited the disease of their addiction that they were unable to stop on their own.

Shortcomings and character defects may be the same concept, but what exactly is the shortcomings definition? When looked up exactly, it is described as “a fault or failure to meet a certain standard, typically in a person’s character.” Taking a look at this description of the word, it can be seen how the meaning is centered on where the person is flawed and has a specific character trait that could use some work because they are lacking in that area. It doesn’t mean they are a bad person by any means, just that they aren’t meeting that standard. This is why the word shortcoming is well-suited and why emphasis is geared more toward character building rather than placed on the recovering individual’s defects of character when they are in their early part of sobriety because nobody wants their negative traits thrown in their face like an object coming at them by blunt-force trauma without some guidance of long-lasting encouraging solution.

The Solution

Through the process of recovery, the alcoholic and/or addicts has hopefully built a strong support network and just the same, if they have chosen to adhere by any suggestions they have heard from them then sticking to the appropriate order of the process in which others have encouraged would be best. When the individual has reached the point where they have become aware of these flaws in their character and are entirely ready to work toward having them removed, then the solution can be found in the reversal process. This is where the alcoholic and/or addict would recognize the defect of character and work daily to transform it into a principle. A prime example would be changing selfish behaviors into selfless acts. By partaking in more service work, being there to support another, helping a stranger carry their groceries, or picking up a piece of trash when nobody is looking, the alcoholic and/or addict begins to work toward improving their selfish tendencies and even gets outside themselves long enough to heighten their inner being. Their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health will continue to develop as they continuously work on reversing their defects on a regular basis.

Stagnant in Recovery: Problem with Shortcomings

After some time in sobriety, the alcoholic and/or addict may get complacent but only to begin feeling emotionally off shortly after. The problem here is that shortcomings don’t just permanently get reversed and stay transformed as principles. Principles remain actively noticeable in recovery only when they are practiced regularly as daily reprieves. Recovery requires an incredible amount of renewed effort and routine work in order to maintain sobriety. By the alcoholic and/or addict continuing to see where they are flawed and work to correct the area of opportunity, they will reap the benefits of peace of mind with their recovery.

What is the shortcomings definition anyway? Where here words like “character defects” and “shortcomings” all the time in the rooms, but what does it mean? Many alcoholics and addicts ponder this question, as they try to determine whether there is a difference between its meaning and character defects. Both terms are habitually brought up in programs where individuals strive toward recovery as these alcoholics and/or addicts discuss areas in their lives in which they feel they have a great opportunity to work on because they have come to find out that alcohol and/or drugs was but a symptom of their disease.

Shortcomings Definition: What Does It Mean?

The character defects and shortcomings definition, which are synonymous, explain that the real root of the individual’s disease was their habit of holding onto unhealthy resentments, fear, dishonesty, and selfishness. This is what ultimately caused them to live in a tide of unpleasant emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual distress, leading them to pick up that drink and/or drug that ignited the disease of their addiction that they were unable to stop on their own.

Shortcomings and character defects may be the same concept, but what exactly is the shortcomings definition? When looked up exactly, it is described as “a fault or failure to meet a certain standard, typically in a person’s character.” Taking a look at this description of the word, it can be seen how the meaning is centered on where the person is flawed and has a specific character trait that could use some work because they are lacking in that area. It doesn’t mean they are a bad person by any means, just that they aren’t meeting that standard. This is why the word shortcoming is well-suited and why emphasis is geared more toward character building rather than placed on the recovering individual’s defects of character when they are in their early part of sobriety because nobody wants their negative traits thrown in their face like an object coming at them by blunt-force trauma without some guidance of long-lasting encouraging solution.

The Solution

Through the process of recovery, the alcoholic and/or addicts has hopefully built a strong support network and just the same, if they have chosen to adhere by any suggestions they have heard from them then sticking to the appropriate order of the process in which others have encouraged would be best. When the individual has reached the point where they have become aware of these flaws in their character and are entirely ready to work toward having them removed, then the solution can be found in the reversal process. This is where the alcoholic and/or addict would recognize the defect of character and work daily to transform it into a principle. A prime example would be changing selfish behaviors into selfless acts. By partaking in more service work, being there to support another, helping a stranger carry their groceries, or picking up a piece of trash when nobody is looking, the alcoholic and/or addict begins to work toward improving their selfish tendencies and even gets outside themselves long enough to heighten their inner being. Their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health will continue to develop as they continuously work on reversing their defects on a regular basis.

Stagnant in Recovery: Problem with Shortcomings

After some time in sobriety, the alcoholic and/or addict may get complacent but only to begin feeling emotionally off shortly after. The problem here is that shortcomings don’t just permanently get reversed and stay transformed as principles. Principles remain actively noticeable in recovery only when they are practiced regularly as daily reprieves. Recovery requires an incredible amount of renewed effort and routine work in order to maintain sobriety. By the alcoholic and/or addict continuing to see where they are flawed and work to correct the area of opportunity, they will reap the benefits of peace of mind with their recovery.

December 19th, 2012 is a very special date for me—I checked myself into The Watershed. I was nervous, scared, excited, happy, sad, and about a thousand more emotions and feelings kicked in right before checking in. I knew that this time it felt different—I can’t pin-point what it is but I just knew that I’m done using. People ask me how you know if you’re done; I tell them you just know. In the first few days of treatment I chased the solution to my problem like I chased my drugs. On the 4^th day of detox, I put on my favorite pair of skinny jeans and found drugs in the corner pocket. My heart started racing as I found myself pacing up and down my room as if I was a lunatic. I was going back and forth on whether I should use or not. After about 30 minutes of trying to make a decision, a tech came in and told me I have to get to group. About a minute into group I stood up and told the facilitator that I found drugs in my jeans corner pocket. He took it away and I felt a great sense of relief. Most patients and all staff members were very proud of me; most importantly, I was proud of myself. At that moment I truly knew I was done and felt the true meaning of surrender…That very same day I decided to go to the inpatient H&I meeting and the speaker said a few words that forever changed my life forever—real men do uncomfortable things. A light bulb went off immediately—I did what was comfortable for me my whole life which got me nowhere. I felt as if the speaker challenged me to do uncomfortable things. The very next day I felt very uncomfortable—I started practicing honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. I started sharing in all groups, praying, taking suggestions, helping others, and most importantly trying to incorporate the 12 steps into all my affairs to the best of my ability.

The two greatest gifts the watershed has given me was finding a purpose in life and introducing me to the 12 step program. I realized that I’m very good at helping others and even influential to some. I am now doing my Master’s in social work, working as an alumni liaison for the watershed sober living community, and interning for The Watershed Outpatient Program director. I have the best and most meaningful job ever—helping other addicts. I have people today who believe in my talents and my potential for greatness such my family; boss who I like to refer to as my work sponsor “Rebecca”; real friends; colleagues such as the editor of this newsletter “Mike”; and the recovery community. I am right where I’m supposed to be. However, the biggest gift out of those two was the introduction to the 12 step program. The 12 steps have changed my life completely—it helped me find a god of my understanding and the true essence of being a better man and accepting myself for the wonderful person that I am. It’s the most rewarding feeling a man can possibly feel. I live by a code now—I am programmed to do the next right thing. There are days where I regress on living out the steps but one step I get right everyday is the first one—I know that I am powerless. My sponsor always says that if I don’t pick today it’s a successful day; I see what he means now. My life today is beyond my wildest dreams. This program gave me a new way of life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world—I LOVE RECOVERY!

By Leon K.